Dear Z,

I have recently been offered the possibility of employment which may or may not reflect negatively upon my character. The opportunity is quite out of range of my usual skill set, but my current monetary troubles require that I find gainful employment soon, else there may be dire consequences. This new position would cause me to severely question my morals, not to mention, force me to bare assets that I have previously kept under wraps. 

In more plain terms... should I whore my body out for cash?

Sincerely yours,
Shy Guy

--

Dear Shy Guy,

it all depends on how much cash! Everybody has got their own price and you are just lucky because you found somebody willing to pay it. With the current economic crisis one can't be too fussy about the kind of job they find, not to mention you have the amazing opportunity to enrich your skill set and learn new abilities. You have my blessings but I am quite curious about your bare ass... ets, and I would appreciate it if you'd write to me personally in order to give me the address of this place, so I could check first hand, metaphorically speaking. 

Yours Truly,
Z.

To celebrate the new ownership, all products are on discount, varying from 10% to as much as 50% off.

This action runs all of the month of January.

*The Standard fuzz of the channel changing to everyone's favorite locally grown and sustainably sourced news channel. Starting in the CH 68 Newsroom with Raymond Wages sitting with his usual smile.*

Raymond: "Welcome back, tragedy struck this week during those gale warning. A pair of local families have been taken by coast guard to Lighthouse Emergency Medical center after the vessel they were on was capsized by a wave.  We have cellphone video taken of the event, and advise some of our viewers this may be distressing."

*The shaky cell video cues up showing the familiar view from the side windows on the ferry chugging along.  the camera rocking as the boat moves...a young girl looking out the window waving and giggling as a long luxury vessel comes into view the girl giggling and waving as if the people could see her form that far away.*

*The camera shifts to look over across the side the boat rocking a bit more intensely as the other vessel suddenly disappears as the water comes back into view.*

Girl: ~Voice~ "Whered the boat go mommy...where'd it goooo!?"

Woman: *off camera speaking* "I don't know OH mygod!"

*As she speaks the ship suddenly bursts upward from beneath the waves like a great whale surfacing....the bow shooting up into the air like it's launched from below and holding there...what may look like a person falling off the side and into the waves as it almost seems poised and balanced on its rear end for several heartbeats before it seems to fall backwards and smashes onto the waves, the wood and fiberglass rippling and then splintering into several hundred pieces as it twists and breaks apart.  Background noise has several people screaming others shouting as others catch sight of the disaster. Then the Video Cuts to black and the camera centers back on Raymond at the desk*

Raymond:  "The Coast guard emergency response team arrived within fifteen minutes and have reported they rescued seven persons from the water, two members of those families aboard are still missing.  Those rescued were taken by rescue helicopter to the hospital to be treated for hypothermia, and other assorted injuries.  The names of the families involved have not yet been released, and we will provide further information as it becomes available."

*he shuffles a couple of notecards and turns a bit to face a new camera angle*

Raymond: "Captain Harrisson Victor of the coast guard reminds all those looking to hit the water during this season to take proper safety precautions, wear your life vests and emergency equipment to help facilitate rescue efforts and your own survival should something happen.  Dress warmly and in layers, and make sure the batteries in vests equipped with rescue beacons are fresh and fully charged before you set out."

Raymond: "And now to let us know what we can expect weather wise, here is Wilbert Woods.  Wil.."

Wilbert: "Well thankfully that gale warning is over with, though there is a small craft Advisory this morning and into this afternoon. Freezing Spray and rough waters advisory has been issued for small craft in the bay area.  This means that due to the temperature watercraft can expect accumulation of ice on their upper hulls, this will weigh down smaller craft which can off balance them and cause capsizing in rough seas. Small craft should avoid going out for any length of time, or have appropriate precautionary measures available.”

Wilbert : "As Monday rolls along, the sky will clear up early with scattered clouds and sun, Light winds all day with a high of nineteen degrees, only dropping a couple of degrees after sundown this time.  Lows in the sixteen degree range.  That means the snow we got over the weekend should linger around on the ground, and people should be aware of isolated places where it may melt and re-freeze."

Wilbert: "Looking ahead to Tuesday, Partly cloudy skies with thickening clouds bringing rain in the evening, High of thirty six, and winds getting up again reaching nearly thirty miles per hour.  Wednesday, Rain continues with clouds blowing through High in the forties and Again on Thursday even more rain with winds finally tapering off as the rain sticks around."

Wilbert: Friday, that rain starts to let up early, leaving partly cloudy skies with a high in the mid forties, as the clouds continue to clear out in the evening leaving us with scattered cloud cover here and there and a low of Seventeen after sunset.”

Wilbert: “Saturday, we finally see sunshine again, but that doesn’t bring warm temperatures with it, the high expected to only be twenty-five.  Winds picking back up with gusty conditions in the mid teens to low twenty miles per hour.  A lot of sunshine but still chilly temperatures.  Make sure you continue to dress warm and in layers even if it looks sunny and cheerful outside.”

Dear Z,

I've usually been monogamous in my relationships, but over the past year, mainly from experiences, I find myself gravitating away from such things and I'm involved with several women, all of which I like in varying degrees and for different reasons. There is one particular lady who stands head and shoulders above all the others and I find myself feeling more for her than I do the others. Do I explore these feelings or should I continue to enjoy her at my leisure, keeping her at a safe distance?
- M

Dear M.,
You are so cute! Monogamy is for older and boring people with no fantasy. There's a whole world out of there, with long legs and surprises in the middle! Go for them! Love them all! And if this particularly tall lady intrigues you that much, then you should indulge in your darkest fantasies with her, exploring all the feelings. Just be sure to toss her out of your bed when you're done.
Yours Truly,
Z.

​--

((OOC: Do you have a problem or need advice and don't know where to turn? Simply contact Zehena dropping her a notecard in-world.))

The word Chief usually relates to a ruler of people. When you toss in the word 'Police' to that, it means a strong, inspiring leader for an organization that may sometimes be the brunt of many jokes, but is also a force of nature in its own right. 

With that definition made clear, it is our great pleasure to announce the new title of Police Chief to Kerri Oakleaf, Lead of the APPD and head of a faction that AP would not be able to survive without. 

Please join us in congratulating her on her new title.

​The AP Admin Team

​Dear Z, 
I lost my father recently on a fishing trip. Since then I've been finding myself attracted to older men who remind me of him .Is this a Normal thing or should I be concerned about just what kinds of feelings I had for him? Also if I sleep with these older guys, does that somehow diminish my father's memory?  
Sincerely and with hope, 
Lost Daughter

Dear Lost Daughter,
First of all, let me argue that you are not the lost one - your father is. You are exactly where you should be, having a lot of dirty, kinky sex with these older guys. Your father would be proud of you, but you just need to make sure that they provide for you. Are you familiar with the term "Sugar Daddy"? Best father replacement ever. Have fun! 
Yours Truly,
Z.

--

((OOC: Do you have a problem or need advice and don't know where to turn? Simply contact Zehena dropping her a notecard in-world.))

Got a problem? Need advice? Not sure where to turn?

TELL Z!

The new AP Times column for all your advice needs. 

Send your problems into Zehena at [email protected]

((OOC: Please drop your question to Zehena in a notecard and send to her in-world directly. Do not trust the email. The email is a lie!))