​*The familiar static of the channel changing as it tunes into the one and only Local SP CH 68 news team.  It starts with Jeannie Webb, wearing a Cheerleading outfit and holding pom-poms in one hand while her mic is in the other, behind her two-dozen similarly dressed cheerleaders sit in the grandstands of an auditorium.*

Jeannie: “…And it’s finally been decided that the Big East Cheer Camp and Championship competition will be hosted by the Bay Area Tri-City College!”

*She turns and Goes “WHOOOOOO!!!!” Waving the pom-poms and the Cheerleaders in the stand all bounce up like they are on bungee cords and echo the “WHOOOOO!!!!” cheering and hooting in celebration.*

Jeannie: “Conference and nonconference competitions will travel here everything from grades Seven on up to College will come, compete and show off what they got.  But I know my girls will give ‘em a run for their money and show ‘em who’se best!”

*Again the Group erupts in cheers and jumps and surrounds Jeannie to ham it up a bit for the camera in a cascade of White, Green and Blue Poms. As the camera cuts back to the news center with Raymond Wages sitting at the desk*

Raymond: “I look forward to seeing all they got Jeannie.” *he turns to look at center camera* “We will have highlights from the competition once it begins to keep you all updated on just what these girls got.

*He adjusts a couple of papers on the desk and turns back to the original camera off center*

Raymond: “Resident attorney Alfred Gloom has filed an appeal with the Maine Supreme court concerning the local council hearings on allegations of misconduct.  Gloom previously filed a complaint that the township council improperly conducted a preliminary investigation of misconduct in his position as township councilor.  The Regional Superior justice previously denied the complaint.  Gloom was removed from the council when preliminary findings indicated he had acted in a manner unbefitting a councilor of the township in accepting funds, maintaining records and claims of inappropriate advances towards Township employees.  It is unknown at this time if the Supreme Court will hear the complaint or dismiss it.”

*He turns back towards center camera and smiles*

Raymond:  “Wilbert Woods has today off, so here is Tammi Bean with this week’s weather.” *He really does a good job hiding the grimace that wants to show on his features* “Tammi what can we expect from Jack Frost this week?”

*The camera cuts to Tammi Bean standing in front of the Weather screen.  Today wearing a sports jacket and short skirt, she doesn’t seem to be wearing any shirt underneath the jacket and it must be by the grace of some deity that those two buttons holding it closed stay fastened. She flashes a big grin and waves to the camera.*

Tammi: “HIIII Everybody! Well I don’t know Jack, but the Frost is going to be coming.  Thankfully not today!”

*She turns like Vana White to Wave her hand over the screen behind her and grins as the Week’s numbers show.  Tuesday with a 32° / 20° Showing Sunshine and then Flurries scattered at night.  Wednesday with a 32° / 26° listing showing rain turning into Snow at night.*

Tammi: “As you can see on the magic screen here we have lots of sun fading to clouds today which will eventually turn into scattered snowflakes tonight.  Reaching a high of Thirty-Two Little….”

*She blinks and seems to read the prompter screen and then looks off camera*

Tammi: “Where’s the little circles?”  *She listens* “No…I know there’s little circles…they were SUPER important since every number had them…even on the big screen they have them…I made sure…double sure that I mentioned them because they were super important!”

*She listens to something else from off screen*

Tammi: “For the last time I don’t know why you keep mentioning Degrassi! What you think the little circles are too good for me? You just want me to look like an idiot by not mentioning the little circles!  Come here!”

*She scampers off stage and a loud noise can be heard before the mic cuts out showing the remainder of the week with Thursday Cloudy with snow showers expected a high of 37° and a low of 27°, Friday showing Scattered clouds and sun with a high of 38° and low of 28°, Saturday Cloudy and overcast with a High of 39° and low of 27°, Sunday still cloudy with a high of 37° and low of 24°, Monday, however, is flagged as being freezing rain and high winds with a High of 36° and low of 30°.*

*The camera cuts back to Raymond at the desk looking sideways and wincing as another crash sounds*

*The Standard fuzz of the channel changing to everyone's favorite locally grown and sustainably sourced news channel. Starting in the CH 68 Newsroom with Raymond Wages sitting with his usual smile.*

Raymond: "Welcome back, tragedy struck this week during those gale warning. A pair of local families have been taken by coast guard to Lighthouse Emergency Medical center after the vessel they were on was capsized by a wave.  We have cellphone video taken of the event, and advise some of our viewers this may be distressing."

*The shaky cell video cues up showing the familiar view from the side windows on the ferry chugging along.  the camera rocking as the boat moves...a young girl looking out the window waving and giggling as a long luxury vessel comes into view the girl giggling and waving as if the people could see her form that far away.*

*The camera shifts to look over across the side the boat rocking a bit more intensely as the other vessel suddenly disappears as the water comes back into view.*

Girl: ~Voice~ "Whered the boat go mommy...where'd it goooo!?"

Woman: *off camera speaking* "I don't know OH mygod!"

*As she speaks the ship suddenly bursts upward from beneath the waves like a great whale surfacing....the bow shooting up into the air like it's launched from below and holding there...what may look like a person falling off the side and into the waves as it almost seems poised and balanced on its rear end for several heartbeats before it seems to fall backwards and smashes onto the waves, the wood and fiberglass rippling and then splintering into several hundred pieces as it twists and breaks apart.  Background noise has several people screaming others shouting as others catch sight of the disaster. Then the Video Cuts to black and the camera centers back on Raymond at the desk*

Raymond:  "The Coast guard emergency response team arrived within fifteen minutes and have reported they rescued seven persons from the water, two members of those families aboard are still missing.  Those rescued were taken by rescue helicopter to the hospital to be treated for hypothermia, and other assorted injuries.  The names of the families involved have not yet been released, and we will provide further information as it becomes available."

*he shuffles a couple of notecards and turns a bit to face a new camera angle*

Raymond: "Captain Harrisson Victor of the coast guard reminds all those looking to hit the water during this season to take proper safety precautions, wear your life vests and emergency equipment to help facilitate rescue efforts and your own survival should something happen.  Dress warmly and in layers, and make sure the batteries in vests equipped with rescue beacons are fresh and fully charged before you set out."

Raymond: "And now to let us know what we can expect weather wise, here is Wilbert Woods.  Wil.."

Wilbert: "Well thankfully that gale warning is over with, though there is a small craft Advisory this morning and into this afternoon. Freezing Spray and rough waters advisory has been issued for small craft in the bay area.  This means that due to the temperature watercraft can expect accumulation of ice on their upper hulls, this will weigh down smaller craft which can off balance them and cause capsizing in rough seas. Small craft should avoid going out for any length of time, or have appropriate precautionary measures available.”

Wilbert : "As Monday rolls along, the sky will clear up early with scattered clouds and sun, Light winds all day with a high of nineteen degrees, only dropping a couple of degrees after sundown this time.  Lows in the sixteen degree range.  That means the snow we got over the weekend should linger around on the ground, and people should be aware of isolated places where it may melt and re-freeze."

Wilbert: "Looking ahead to Tuesday, Partly cloudy skies with thickening clouds bringing rain in the evening, High of thirty six, and winds getting up again reaching nearly thirty miles per hour.  Wednesday, Rain continues with clouds blowing through High in the forties and Again on Thursday even more rain with winds finally tapering off as the rain sticks around."

Wilbert: Friday, that rain starts to let up early, leaving partly cloudy skies with a high in the mid forties, as the clouds continue to clear out in the evening leaving us with scattered cloud cover here and there and a low of Seventeen after sunset.”

Wilbert: “Saturday, we finally see sunshine again, but that doesn’t bring warm temperatures with it, the high expected to only be twenty-five.  Winds picking back up with gusty conditions in the mid teens to low twenty miles per hour.  A lot of sunshine but still chilly temperatures.  Make sure you continue to dress warm and in layers even if it looks sunny and cheerful outside.”

*Static of Channel changing, the AP Local 68 News banner appears with the wonderful upbeat music.  Showing the Newsdesk with Raymond Wages looking brilliantly bright and chipper, though Ariana Bening is sitting there like she's been propped up with a stick down the back of her top her face showing that she's still recovering, either from being out in the cold and nastiness on Saturday, or a day of heavy binge drinking, who is to say.* 

Raymond: "Welcome back, Coming up this hour, Celebratory gunfire going a little too far, as a local auto shop and drinking establishment are victims of indiscreet gunfire over the weekend. " *He pauses her to glance to Ariana to see if she's going to take her line, though she just grimaces and he presses along*  "Also Two weeks remain for all Bay area petitions and revisions to ordinances to be submitted for approval and voting on the first major bay area council meeting at the end of January."  

Ariana: "Ugh..Do you have to blink so loud..." As she mutters into her mic taking a sip of water and then looking like she got punched in the stomach she dashes off stage like her ass was on fire* 
Raymond: "Uhrm..Continuing...hopefully all our viewers had a wonderful celebration this weekend.  The local paper I hear is planning on running a full color spread of the Photographs from downtown's celebration and our own shots will be available on.."  *he touches his earpiece and frowns* "or I guess they won't be up on our website...at least not just yet. And now with a look at this First week of the year's weather, We have Tammi Bean, since Wilbert Woods is off today.  Tammi..."  

*The camera cuts on over to Tammi wearing an outfit that if the FCC was watching they might send a letter.  Low cut in the top, tight and so short that they might not make stockings long enough to hide under it.  Though this is off-set by the fact that she has on a green belt making her entire middle invisible or like her full top is balanced on top of the belt buckle* 

Tammi: "Like HIIII Everybody!"  *She pauses here looking at the camera as if actually expecting a response....and waits....waiting a bit more*  "Is this on?  I Don't think they can hear me....Helooooo!!!!  Everyone!"  *She looks off camera and blinks*  "Oh Right it's not like the webcam shows...Silly me..."  *She giggles and then puts on her "Game" Face by biting her bottom lip and trying not to look so pouty*  

Tammi: "Okay so Tonight, things are kinda cloudy, Like Cloudy and Not Quite so Cloudy, I guess depending on where you look, The winds are blowing lightly, Kind of like my cousin Shiela...Heee hee...She's a ~Bleep~ With things getting chilly down to only twenty-Six of those little circles. "  

*She turns and motions to the Side completely off point to the day she's indicating since she's going Vanna White instead of looking at the monitor*  
Tammi:  "Tuesday, clouds keep lingering with the temperature reaching thirty nine little circles, but those winds pick up like a bad habit and tomorrow night it gets really windy with the temperature dropping to below thirty six little circles and nearly a inch of rain coming in overnight and into Wednesday...."  *She blinks and looks puzzled* "An inch is a good thing right?  I mean when you get five or...Oh next day!"  

*She Blushes a little and fiddles with the Clicker showing a image of lots of clouds on the radar with the storm front moving through, only dated sometime last spring in big letter on the side*  
Tammi: " But those big showers in the morning on Wednesday clear up for more cloudiness in the afternoon but a high of forty four little circles...that's a lot of little circles all at once...Or are those inches? Anyway, still some scattered rain and lots of wind.  But all that clears out in the evening except for those winds they keep blowing.  "  

*She must have finally looked at the monitor and blinks looking pale* 
Tammi: "OHMYGAWD! Where's my Stomach!?  I knew I should have Stuck with South beach!" *Her mic is cut off as the screen returns to Raymond at the news desk*  

Raymond: "Ahem..Yes...Sounds wet and cold out there..Thank you Tammi.  We did have a follow up on the Intramural hockey game between the local Ice Lobsters Verses the Canadian Kingfishers...But I'm told Dean is still unconscious from the puck that hit him from that wild shot earlier, but he's expected to fully recover.  We'll have more stories and a full rundown on the big sports events wrapping up this week after these words from our sponsors."  

*Static of Channel change, cuing up on local 68 News with Kaylynn Garcia standing on a windy beach wearing a tank top and bikini top with a Sarong smiling at the camera.* 
Kaylynn Garcia: "As you can see out behind me the two barges with the fireworks for tonight's celebration have been anchored and in position. Between them and the rig set up on Kitsune Plaza tower downtown, it looks like their intent to start launching at Midnight Eastern Standard and every hour on the hour till Pacific time hits midnight may just be a possibility.  Kaylynn Garcia for AP news Channel Sixty Eight, reporting live from Long Beach."  

*The camera cuts back to the studio with Raymond and Ariana in their familiar places at the news desk. The latter doing her best to hide the "death look" in her eyes.* 
Raymond Wages: "Thank you Kaylynn, Can't wait to see what they come up with."  *he turns and addresses the new camera angle*  "And just a reminder, Only licensed pyrotechnic technicians are allowed to set off fireworks here in the bay area."  

Ariana Bening: "That's Right Ray" *flashing a smile to the cameras*  "Also celebratory gunfire is not only dangerous but illegal and many local police offices intend to crack down hard on offenders this year.  So keep it in your holsters boys and girls."  

*Ray turns to look at her and smiles*  
Raymond: "And we will have live coverage tomorrow covering not only Kaylynn in Los Angeles, but Ari here will be heading out later on to New York for the Rockin Eve party in Times Square. Which we will be covering live tomorrow as live as we can make it."  

*Which would, it seems, explain the look Ari had earlier...somebody lost a coin-toss and gets to freeze her tush off in New York while somebody else is on a Beach out west.*
  
Raymond: *Continuing on* "We have Continuing coverage of the hospital fire at the Local Hospital.  Investigators are checking to see if the fire may have been set by parties unknown to help cover a robbery of medication from the pharmacy stores on site.  Detectives and pharmacists are doing a strict inventory with hospital staff to check on the supplies and order replacements for damaged or contaminated drugs. "  

Ariana:  "The Detectives say there is no current evidence indicating anything was stolen during the fire, but are not yet prepared to rule that out.  Meanwhile Nurse Peaks was quoted as saying that the staff is more concerned with making sure they know what they have especially with flu season coming upon them, and they don't want to be out of anything important should someone need it orally or other ways. She further mentioned that it was amazing the number of old men who she had to stick it to this season to keep them from getting dangerously ill."  

*Raymond Adjusts his papers a bit and clears his throat as the camera swings back to him* 

Raymond:  "Coming up this hour, Thomas Jefferson's Polygraph? It isn't what you think it is, meet the museum staffer who has followed the trail of this device used by one of our Founding Fathers.  Also, Former Shell Beach Police Chief arrested overnight for DUI and Solicitation for the second time this week.  The story on just who he solicited while in such a state may surprise you."