Not for watering down the drinks or the short hemlines of the barstaff outfits, Patrons Monday at Anderson's, a local establishment that most are quite familiar with, if only by the somewhat rough reputation, were shocked when two heavily armed unidentified men stormed into the establishment and abducted a currently unidentified man from the premises.  

Before they departed, they opened fire dealing property damage and injuring two other patrons.  The police have yet to release a statement on this assault and kidnapping, but other sources have identified the two locals who were injured by gunfire. One Kael Firehawk, and a minor local celebrity Deirdre McMinnar, Olympic Sailor two times running for Canada, who also owns the local Computer store, Laserbytes.  

Neither have sustained life threatening injuries it seems, but are reported to have been shocked and a little shaken by the incident. The Police department still has not released any information concerning who was abducted, the motives or anything regarding the incident at all. 

If more information becomes available this reporter promises that you faithful readers, will be the second to know about it. 

By: Orville Huff, Freelance Correspondent

​Today, Mid Town had an unpleasant surprise when they stepped out of their doors. Residents and visitors were greeted with the stench of a freak sewage leak over at The Last Chance Gas and Garage that seemed to permeate the entire area. The odorous waste material had spilled all the way across the business's parking lot and out onto the street.

Officer Phokos was observed to be on the scene. shortly after, firefighters arrived and worked to contain and dispose of the mess as quickly as possible. Bystanders looked on as the scene was contained.

We, here at Asphyxiation Point Times, certainly hope that the owners can find the source of the leak and stem the flow of sewage from happening again. Otherwise, someone will be in deep... so to speak.

Television gives us the bright and happy side of life in suburbia, something some of the citizens of Asphyxiation Point are familiar with. A world where you step outside in the morning, stretch and maybe even walk to work, not fearing anything. Not even the neighbor's dog, who you stop to pat on the head on your way by. Other parts of town, people don't have it so easy, sure. There's always danger in the rough parts. But I learned today that citizens of Asphyxiation Point have something more to fear than most cities, and it goes by the name of The Immortals.

Some people ask, are we ever truly safe with evil everywhere? Today, I can say with confidence that we are not.

As I stood outside the Asphyxiation Point Times office two people approached me, seemingly harmless and friendly. Then, with a flip of a switch, I found myself pinned to the wall by my throat as the man allowed the woman to stab me. And what's worse? They took the time to enjoy, relish and bask in their actions, even toying with my wound.

I'm sorry if this scares some of you. But when it comes down to it? You should be. Their message was hate, fear, violence and anger. They spoke of gods of evil - Hades, Nyx and Erebus. And as I was treated for my wounds and the police took my statement, I heard more than one story from others who had also been attacked by members of this "family", as they called themselves.

The people that attacked me? A man and a woman. He was handsome, but don't let that fool you. He wore all black, his hair shaved on the sides, and he was tattooed. And while that isn't necessarily a bad thing, his very essence was seething with evil. The woman? She was blonde and pretty with plenty of scars. A pain fairy is all I thought of when she was enjoying her task. And with only one eye. But I assure you, they are not alone folks. These two surely belong to a greater evil that is spreading through our city like a plague.

Their motive to attack me? They wanted me to make sure you all not only knew their "family" name but also their message.

Should you continue to step outside your homes, free of worry and full of optimism for your day? Or should you cower and fear this group? Well, I suppose you have to decide that for yourself. But rest assured, they are lurking in the shadows, and they are not afraid to strike in the daylight. From all of the accounts I've gathered, if they set their sights on you, you will not see it coming. It's not for me to tell you what to do. It's purely for me to give you their message...

Fear The Immortals.

Contributed by Nora Adara (jstjdysl619)

By Nichollas Courtois, AP Investigative Reporter

In the early morning hours of Monday the 22nd, a gruesome discovery was made on the porch of the esteemed AP citizen Judge Charles Winterbottom. Sources say a severed head of an unidentified woman was left at the judge's home and was found by his assistant, Suki Sakamoto, who called law enforcement.  It's been confirmed by a witness that one of the responding officers, Officer Kerri Oakleaf, recognized the remains but identification of the remains are still under investigation. The APPD was contacted but there has no statement made. 

Details on the case are limited but what has been learned is, decomposition of the decapitated head, revealed the victim has only been deceased between 24-72 hours.  Found on the head was a sharp object that had caused major damage to the tongue and throat.  It appears, due to the jagged marking on the neck that the object used was something like a knife, opposed to an axe or larger object.  

It's been confirmed that Judge Winterbottom had active security cameras on his porch but what was on those tapes is yet to be released.

Judge Winterbottom claims he knows of no one who would be seeking retaliation upon him, though he did admit, "...as a Judge, I am bound to have scorned somebody. It is quite possible, that somebody left it as a warning."  He also confirmed he has no recognition of the victim but reconfirmed in his own words, "...I am sure that there are people who dislike me."'

The judge also released an official statement warning, "...the perpetrator will not escape justice. They will be hunted down and put in prison, where they belong, for a first degree murder, trespassing and violating private property, amongst other things."  When pressed with for further information the judge gave the AP Times a stern warning, threating jail time for any who, "...infringes with an ongoing investigation."  While adding, "...It is quite admirable, not to reveal your sources, without a subpoena. And I do hope that I would not have to issue such a document [unless] the need arises."  Is he making a threat to our rights for a free press? Is the judge truly out for justice, or out to keep his record clean and sweep victims under the proverbial rug?  One can only wonder, but the AP Times will refuse to given to threats and continue to deliver to the public any and all information concerning their safety.  

More information will be given as it is revealed but for now it's reasonable to assume that there is a killer on the streets of the Asphyxiation Point.  Could this be linked to the reported missing body taken from the AP Medical Center only a few weeks before?  Maybe, but until the APPD decides to take reports seriously and reveal what serious threats loom over the AP community we're all at the mercy of the lawless and the violent who continue to evade the inept law enforcement.

​By Chloe Voss

​Peace in the lower downtown area shattered with the crack of gunfire on Wednesday afternoon. The altercation occurred in the small park just East of Anderson’s and involved an individual with an apparent grudge against the Asphyxiation Point Police Department (APPD). 

This reporter arrived on scene just as foot pursuit began between officers and the suspect. Any need to follow on my own part was cut off when the chase came full circle and ended with a standoff, once again in front of Anderson's. The suspect was using a response vehicle of the APPD as an apparent barricade in an attempt to avoid apprehension. 

Several innocents were caught in the altercation including Xelan Morgath who despite not being APPD ended up in the line of fire, defending herself and her friends with her own weapon. Miss Morgath was arrested in the fall out of the investigation for using a weapon in self-defense, likely a precautionary action by APPD officers as they worked to clear the scene. 

The suspect, whose name is being withheld by authorities, faces criminal charges. Not only did she fire a weapon at APPD but was loudly decrying the department with rhetoric reminiscent of a revolutionary call to arms. Either that or she was high on illegal substances and emulating the punk rock scene of the 1960’s. 

Arresting Officer Ming Yheng, recently promoted to Captain in the APPD was forced to taze the suspect to bring her under control. Asked for comment in regard to the incident the police spokesperson would only confirm that the suspect was in custody, there were thankfully no lasting injuries, and the investigation was ongoing.

​By Phedre Dumouriez

The following is an update on a story reported earlier in the week regarding the recent discovery of an underground network of forgotten shops, apartments and public spaces located directly below the Uptown area Asphyxiation Point. 

Originally, the entrance to this dark, hidden world was through a series of connecting sewer and storm drains; difficult to access, not to mention unsanitary and dangerous. However, thanks to some more shifting and collapsing of Island infrastructure, more resources have been put into clearing out the access points. 

It all started with a response to a 911 call about a fire at the Muffin Tops bakery on Thursday evening. This reporter - being the one to have made the call, ironically enough - was there live and in person for what happened next. As the firefighter who responded dealt with the seemingly easily-controlled blaze, destruction of another sort was occurring right under our feet.

It's not certain what caused the eventual sink hole which opened up under the firetruck and eventually sucked in most of the vehicle into its depths, but the argument was made afterwards for wooden support beams which had rotted over time. 

Just like with the original cave-in that revealed the first arteries of old tunnels leading into this sub-terrain, this next collapse helped to educate construction and city planners on how best to shore up the area so that further erosion would not occur. Work to strengthen the cavern roof and fill in the sink hole continues, but the question still remains...

Now that the tunnels into the area have been cleared, and once the integrity of the area has been re-secured, what then? Even with the warnings, fences and razor-wire, more and more residents have been rumored to be sneaking into the space. If left open, it could find itself the haven for more than just the homeless and hopeless. 

Only time will tell. 

​By Phedre Dumouriez

Recent efforts to unclog the storm drains that caused flooding at the Below the Belt Boxing Gym led to an unexpected discovery. Details are still fuzzy as to the how and why, but it would appear that the the entire tourist district that was supposed to have been destroyed and built over in the 50s was in fact preserved underground. 

To clarify on the last story that was run about the event, the flooding was NOT caused by sewer back up from the new Casino. In fact, the actual origins of the clog is not 100% certain - though it may have been from last month's hurricane or the shifting of earth from the landslide. In any case, the damage was done and dozens of volunteers along with officials arrived to help clean it up. 

Joshua Treeman was one such volunteer who was called to the scene to assist. When discussing the discovery with this reporter, he had the following to say: "Going through the tunnels I turned the corner and yelled a few expletives as I saw a large pile of bricks and dirt clogging up the tunnel. We discussed a few options such as a barge/boats to help clear it, and [someone] mentioned opening the top from the road but that was shot down pretty quickly. In the end we decided bucket brigade to be the best option." 

The 'we' in question was retired Newton Construction manager, Charles Kuluk and the owner of the Gym, Riley Urquhart.

Mr. Treeman continued with: "As more folks showed up we made a decent hole pretty quickly. That's when Riley told me to take a look as he held his light on the other side. There was a large opening which made no sense of course.  We glanced at each other and decided to adventure a little farther into the darkness. That's when we saw a large...I don't know...Abandoned town.  Collapsed, run down building and such."

It was this description that encouraged this reporter to do a little investigating of her own - once the rubble had been cleared and the waste waters had mostly receded.

Upon arrival down in this underground haven for the homeless and hopeless of Asphyxiation Point, it was clear to see that the area was not as abandoned as first thought. I was hoping to find signs of life - including that of one "Old John O'Graydy' - whom Mr. Treeman had told me appeared to have been living in the ruins for years, trading homemade moonshine in exchange for food stuffs from locals he trusted. 

But a homeless old man was not what was found. Instead, it was a case of hypoxia - due to the unclean and lack of air in certain parts of this hidden-away den. The island truly did live up to its name in those frightening moments, and had it not been for the preparedness and quick thinking of my guide at the time, this reporter may not have returned above ground to deliver this story. 

Which leads one to wonder... if it was that easy for an elderly gentleman to enter and exit the area at will, with such unsafe living conditions, what could happen should others less wary and inexperienced find this dark and dangerous hide-a-way? 

Messages have been left for city planners and the APPD to see what they intend to do with the area - either leave it be or block off the ease of access from the public. The Times will continue to investigate and share details once more information has been uncovered. 

By Ima Reportier

​A silent wave has swept the city... A disturbing wave... of peace. Nary has a gunshot been heard in many nights, the hospital staff has taken to prowling in dark corridors, and the only screams to be heard are those of passion emanating from the Red Light district. 

The Desk Sergeant at the APPD has declared the relative peace a sign of heaven. Pity for his seat, as it strains under the Michelin weight of its owner each time he descends on the next Krispy Kreme. Certainly for the AP’s finest it has become a soaring Good Year, as their mid sections get as soggy as long johns dipped in milk.

For the citizens- wariness; the deep unease that accompanies the unknown as nights pass in relative calm. Where have all the bad times gone? Perhaps underground. Perhaps it is a strange astrological occurrence, like Virgo thinking Pisces is anything but sushi or that little bastard Pluto still waiting to see if it’s part of the family.

Has the island calmed? Will crime rise like Gojira from the sea and bring a tsunami of chaos?

Time will tell. 

By Nichollas Courtois, AP Investigative Reporter

​As reported to the AP Times, from an anonymous source, the body of Cassio Narramore went missing from the AP hospital after being admitted for multiple stab wounds.  The source went on to reveal that the APPD was fully aware of the missing body, yet never announced the crime to the public, despite health issues that could arise from a decomposing body. This leaves one wondering, are those who are hired to protect and serve our community lax in doing their jobs?  When approached with questions the APPD failed to respond to the inquires and have remained quiet on the details. 

So, why would a body be taken from a high secured building with two exits?  One could conclude there's a cult involved or that body parts are being acquired to sell on the black market.  The hospital has not been held liable, due to lack of concerned parties, though the official word from the doctors there is that all precautions will be taken to make sure this particular crime doesn't happen again.  

Details on Cassio Narramore are limited but he did have a personal history of being involved in crime in the area.  Any suspects to the stabbing have yet to be revealed or uncovered which not only leaves a murderer on the loose in the streets of AP but also a body thief. Anyone with any information is asked to come forward.  

By Ima Reportier

​A wave of vicious violence and attempted murders in the wake of Hurricane Hayden has the city reeling as much as it did in the storm. 

Despite assurances from the APPD that arrests are imminent there seems to be no end to the string of crimes. When questioned if the incidents were somehow related to gang activity an APPD spokesperson simply said that investigations were underway.