The AP Fire Department was busy Friday evening when an unidentified drunk man began throwing bottles at the fire fighter's outside of the station house.  Seeming to take offense at their very existence he shouted several expletives before being chased off.  Though police were called officers were unavailable to make it to the scene before the squad was called out to a fire only a block away from the station. 

​According to reports and CCTV evidence upon leaving the fire station the irate and drunken despot turned his rage on the Asphyxiation Point Theater where all of the submissions for the AP Times photo contest were doused in gasoline and lit on fire despite the presence of patrons inside.  For the second time in as many months the arson was able to escape without being caught though CCTV footage salvaged from the fire has produced an image of the suspect. 

While several people were seen fleeing the burning building,  one brave local nurse, identified as Derrik Amacin was seen running into the building.  Despite the danger Nurse Amacin managed to locate a downed and unconscious woman and carry her out to safety.   upon exiting the burning building Amacin was greeted by the sight of APFD's chief Kendall Eiren as well as EMT's  Terra hart and Talon Silver.   Both Amacin and the unconscious woman he rescued, identified as " Amaya" and reported to be pregnant , were taken to Asphyxiation Point Hospital.  Amacin was treated for smoke inhalation and later released though " Amaya" who reportedly received second and third degree burns was rushed into surgery.  

A brief interview with Chief Kendall Eiren of the APFD confirmed that the fire was indeed arson as well as that the arsonist is the very same man as was involved in last month's gas station fire.  That fire also included a female victim, leading the police to believe that the man pictured above not only has a penchant for fires but issues with women as well and may potentially be impotent. That theory is only further backed by the graffiti left at the scene that read " Fire Bitches!"   Police ask that if anyone spots the man pictured above that you do NOT approach him.  Instead please call 911 and get yourself to safety.  He is considered armed and dangerous. 

Kai Roberts, 
AP Times 

*  As of press time Amaya's condition has not been released to the public., though those of us at the AP Times are keeping both her and her unborn child in our thoughts and prayers. 

This Friday the 13th was an auspicious day for the AP Fall Social held from noon to three this afternoon in the park in front of the newly remodeled Anderson's Dockside Bar. Hosted by the beautiful and gracious Eva Perry, the picnic in the park was declared a resounding success. Dozens of AP's own and a good number of folks from away chatted, quaffed tasty hot and cold beverages, and sampled some of the finest homemade delectables to be found on our snug little home. This reporter, a relative newcomer, was delighted to be embraced into the bosom of one of the finest communities in this fair country. Many an old friend was greeted, new acquaintances met, and the whole crowd laughed uproariously at many a fine jape. The fall day was glorious, the food and drink were without compare and the company was unparalleled. Do yourself a favor and put the Winter Social on your calendar. This reporter certainly will. 

​By: Zinny

​Trick-or-treat arrived early this year for newly appointed Fire Chief Kendall Eiren when she was allegedly attacked by a woman dressed as a clown early Tuesday evening. According to reports, the woman approached Chief Eiren, accused her of being a "blue coat" and then lunged at her with a knife, stabbing the Chief in the leg during the ensuing struggle. Volunteer firefighter Kai Roberts ably assisted the Chief in subduing the clown woman after radioing for help from the AP Police department. The alleged assailant was taken into custody and Chief Eiren received treatment for her wound, from which she is recovering nicely. The clown woman refused to identify herself to police and carried no identification. An AP Times reporter spoke with the suspect and learned that she claims to be named "Fray". She speaks with what might be an Irish accent, looks to have been living rough, and was ravenously hungry. According to police sources, the suspect is "crazy as a shithouse rat..." and might face "long term commitment before there's ever a trial".

By: Zinny