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Asphyxiation Point Spotlight                                           Fast Eddie's Diner                                                             By: Lillian Llewellyn

2/25/2016

 
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Its been a while since I've had the delight of visiting this wonderful little island off the coast of Maine and even better yet, was the chance to interview Mr Raven Greymalkin who is now the Proprietor of the Fast Eddies Diner on the corner of Beacon Rd and 2nd Street

Entering the diner I find it a quaint and old fashioned looking diner where you would expect soda jerks and girls zooming pass on roller skates but no, its filled with a lively and entertaining staff.  Although center stage was taken by Mr Raven Greymalkin himself.

He is a tall man of a commanding presence with long raven hair as befitting his name that flows down the strong line of his back.  I'm sure many ladies would sacrifice their weaves for hair that luxuriant .  A strong jaw with a slight, devil-may-care stubble that was so fashionable in NYC this last season. Piercing blue eyes stare out from a tanned complexion with just a hint of tattoo'd skin beneath a black utilitarian jacket, classic black tee and blue jeans.  I can see this look happening maybe down south but its still quite eye catching for a simple tourist town.

We conducted our interview in at the counter of the diner so I could soak up the atmosphere and see Raven at work.

LL: "Now Mr Greymalkin.  What made you decide to come to Asphyxiation Point and take up the reigns of a run down diner that has seen better days?".

RG: "Well, Lillian..first off, call me Raven.... I had been in the Point for a time around 9 months ago...I fell in love with the place, the people and the atmosphere. So when I had finished things I had to take care of elsewhere, i came back. I became enamored of a woman who was here, and decided to stay permanently. I figured an investment in a business was my best bet to do that, and having been raised by foster parents who had run a diner themselves and still do, Fast Eddie's was the best choice. Now the relationship itself fell apart as they often do but I'd made a commitment to the Point and its people and I chose to stay"

LL: "Oh no, a tragic love story and it all went to pieces. Please Raven, for the ladies who would be reading. are you single, in a relationship, seeing someone significant..male or female?  And such loyalty from you is commendable and as many business owners come and go because of the ebb and flow of the tourist trade. I, for one am most delighted in seeing such a handsome man take up the reigns of this diner and make it something of an island icon, almost as if to rival the phallic symbol up on the hill, the lighthouse."

RG: "Well Lillian, for the ladies let's just say that I am very happy with My love life as intense and varied as it may be. As for names....well, that would be telling.  I do thank you for the complement, But a good business needs a good staff to accomplish anything and I have lucked into some of the best and, amazingly some of the prettiest. I will say this, the Point has some of the most attractive men and women anywhere and I have managed to hire the cream of the crop.  That has helped enormously. In a matter of weeks I have gone from one or two customers a night to every booth and stool in the place being occupied on a semi-regular basis.... and that is as much due to the staff as myself."

LL:  "Ahh so the prettiest staff.  Do you hand select them yourself and give them personal interviews so you can  *ahem* rate their performance and fitness levels in performing such duties?  Im sure you're all on your feet for long periods of time and all that back and forth and back and forth must surely drain you at the end of the day. Even speaking of it makes me feel exhausted."

RG: "Well now, I get your insinuations and I can see how that would be an easy assumption to make....and I will not say that no interactions of that sort take place with My staff. What I will say is this....No person is hired on that basis nor is their job at risk if they choose  to avoid such interaction. I rate My employees on the basis of their skill and work ethic and increase their wages when they deserve it. Working in a kitchen environment can be intense and some employees can grow very close but like I said..their job doesn't depend on it."

LL: "I see you didn't say no but you're open to such interactions with your staff. Very interesting and Im sure the readers would be delighted in reading this too Raven. Are you hiring now, for those job seekers out there and also I dont see many male staff or you don't swing that way?"

RG: "Lillian, do I have interactions like that with my staff?  Yes, occasionally, am I hiring?Always, I need decent staff who are personable and social as well as qualified in their job skills. I do hire male employees as well...I am an equal opportunity employer. However, I do NOT swing that way, I enjoy the female form in all its shapes and sizes too much to bother with that of the male."

LL:  "Well now, and Im sure you'd be very thorough but Im sure your female staff would handle the gents needs to the best of their abilities and not over charge them for their - meals- and as a Boss, do you make sure you take a percentage of their wages for yourself or are you generous and let them keep their tips?"

RG: "Whoa whoa whoa...this isn't the red room...or Pandora's or anywhere in the red light district. People don't come here for sex or to be serviced they come here for the food and the atmosphere. And for your information, most of my customers have been female."

​As you can see from his very words, ladies and gents of Asphyxiation Point, you're well cared for at Fast Eddies Diner. Im sure there's some Chefs Special Sauce happening behind the counter but unfortunately this Reporter never had the chance to sample the thick slab of meat that Raven had tucked away. So next time you want to fill your stomach with some juicy meat, head on down to Fast Eddies and say hello to Raven. Maybe, if you ask nicely, he'll personally serve you. I think this Reporter will be going back to sample his Thick and Juicy in the near future.

Lillian Llewellyn
Report at large
Asphyxiation Point Times

Maid, by Jordan

2/22/2016

 
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Jordan Poulter would approach the door, when the young woman was in maid mode everything was very professional, proper and ladylike. She took it seriously so every detail was thought of down to the lace gloves, little hair buns and a strategically placed garter.  Her maid uniform not so traditional, but it fit her personality perfectly, down to the shoes that were sexy, comfortable and gave her great ankle support for those awkward cleaning positions....with a few dainty knocks, Jordan waited for her client anxiously...

That is a glimpse into the mind of the owner of Asphyxiation Point's newest service...."Maid, by Jordan."  Too tired with work to clean, do laundry, dust and make sure the windows are crystal clean to enjoy the lovely change of season colors? She is the girl for the Job. You will not find anyone more tedious, more of a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning then Jordan. To book a cleaning please contact her at (847) 555-MAID.

                                       Always on time and Service with a smile
                                                           Maid, by Jordan

[LIFE] Mardi Gras Schedule

2/5/2016

 
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​Asphyxiation Point will be kicking off our week long celebration tomorrow night at 5 PM Friday, February 5th at Anderson's Bar. Come masked and dressed in all your festive finery or barely dressed at all!! This party will go until the last person stumbles home!!!

Here is the schedule of events for the weekend.

Friday:
5:00 PM Kick off Party at Anderson's

Saturday:
Assorted times;  Hot Air Balloon rides starting at the church
6:00 PM Costume Party at Climax

Sunday:
Assorted times;  Hot Air Balloon rides starting at the church
4:00 PM Masquerade Ball at Park by Anderson's

Monday:
Assorted times;  Hot Air Balloon rides starting at the church

Tuesday:
5:00 PM Mardi Gras Parade

[NEWS] Last Chance for Someone

2/5/2016

 

Last Chance Gas was swarming with police last night after Agent Brent Lockhart sent a message to on duty officer Rumour Ghost requesting police assistance. Lockhart called in a shooting of a man he had been investigating involving a case in which Bethann Causten was a central figure. Causten who is recovering from injury at APH claimed the man Lockhart has been investigating has been stalking her for sometime. Agent Lockhart did shoot and kill the man inside of Last Chance Gas. The  suspect was shot  in the right eye/temple by Agent Lockhart. Body has been taken to the morgue. Bethann Causten taken to the APH as she was kicked in the ribs several times but should recover from the incident. AP Times has no idea what provoked the man into stalking Causten or why he was under investigated by Lockhart. AP Times does hope Causten will sleep some what easier tonight having this man out of her life forever.

​
Reported by Jaden Montgomery

[NEWS] Where in the world is Zach Cross?

2/5/2016

 
​
At the start of last weekend, three stab wound victims entered APH emergency room. There was little known by the professionals at APH last weekend but APPD investigated throughout the week and discovered the crimes may all be connected to Zach Cross who as of this time is out on parole awaiting trial. During his last major crime, Cross was seen with Othello Mikhailov and another unknown male in home invasion. All seemed quiet from this group of people but it has been reported to Sargent Jay Biafra that at least Cross is back to work disturbing the town.

The second of two victims, Jezebel Deville, reported to the police the suspect had attacked a woman, Ivy Harwood, who lived near Climax. Ivy Harwood, claimed in front of Deville and another eye witness Beau Wright,  Cross had urinated on her front porch and Harwood took action against him by spraying him with a hose in retaliation. Ms. Deville approached when Harwood was attempting to fend off Cross’ physical attacks. Deville attempted to lure the suspect away from Ms. Harwood with an illicit substance she claimed to have on her. The suspect than attacked her, stabbing her in the side and taking whatever substance she had on her before fleeing the scene.

 Another victim also enter APH who had been stabbed in a residence later that evening. Ms. Ikki Wonk, went to his place to borrow something  from the residence of a friend and found a man hiding out there. He attacked her and she fought back but he stabbed her and took off. Miss Wonk got herself to the APH but later stated to APPD she knew the man to be Zach Cross.

The only question is where is Zach Cross now? When the Mardi Gras approaching this weekend, AP residents should be on the look out for him in order to put this spree of crime to an end.

Reported by Jaden Montgomery
 

 [AD] Phyxation is Changing

2/3/2016

 
​Phyxation Fashion C.E.O. Candice Cain has announced upcoming changes to the structure of the company.

After a lengthy evaluation of the company, Phyxation has decided to move its fashion portfolio, including the boutique to its L.A. branch under a different management.  This is to take effect some time in February of 2016.  Instead, Phyxation has decided to introduce an Events and Media wing that will operate out of Asphyxiation Point.

What does this mean?
Phyxation is not letting go of any employees.  Store clerks that are impacted will have the opportunity to move into any of the various positions in the company.  Phyxation Events and Media is hiring for a number of job openings including but not limited to:
- DJs
- Hostesses
- Event Workers
- Security
- Photographers
- Event Coordinators

If you have any questions please direct them to Candice Cain (candice.cain) via phone, text or email.

Phyxation HQ

[Life] Fast Eddie's Under New Management

2/2/2016

 
Fast Eddie's Diner is please to announced they are now under new management and have a new menu.  

Read More

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      • Residents
      • Criminals (& the Law)
      • Community Leaders
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