Entering the diner I find it a quaint and old fashioned looking diner where you would expect soda jerks and girls zooming pass on roller skates but no, its filled with a lively and entertaining staff. Although center stage was taken by Mr Raven Greymalkin himself.
He is a tall man of a commanding presence with long raven hair as befitting his name that flows down the strong line of his back. I'm sure many ladies would sacrifice their weaves for hair that luxuriant . A strong jaw with a slight, devil-may-care stubble that was so fashionable in NYC this last season. Piercing blue eyes stare out from a tanned complexion with just a hint of tattoo'd skin beneath a black utilitarian jacket, classic black tee and blue jeans. I can see this look happening maybe down south but its still quite eye catching for a simple tourist town.
We conducted our interview in at the counter of the diner so I could soak up the atmosphere and see Raven at work.
LL: "Now Mr Greymalkin. What made you decide to come to Asphyxiation Point and take up the reigns of a run down diner that has seen better days?".
RG: "Well, Lillian..first off, call me Raven.... I had been in the Point for a time around 9 months ago...I fell in love with the place, the people and the atmosphere. So when I had finished things I had to take care of elsewhere, i came back. I became enamored of a woman who was here, and decided to stay permanently. I figured an investment in a business was my best bet to do that, and having been raised by foster parents who had run a diner themselves and still do, Fast Eddie's was the best choice. Now the relationship itself fell apart as they often do but I'd made a commitment to the Point and its people and I chose to stay"
LL: "Oh no, a tragic love story and it all went to pieces. Please Raven, for the ladies who would be reading. are you single, in a relationship, seeing someone significant..male or female? And such loyalty from you is commendable and as many business owners come and go because of the ebb and flow of the tourist trade. I, for one am most delighted in seeing such a handsome man take up the reigns of this diner and make it something of an island icon, almost as if to rival the phallic symbol up on the hill, the lighthouse."
RG: "Well Lillian, for the ladies let's just say that I am very happy with My love life as intense and varied as it may be. As for names....well, that would be telling. I do thank you for the complement, But a good business needs a good staff to accomplish anything and I have lucked into some of the best and, amazingly some of the prettiest. I will say this, the Point has some of the most attractive men and women anywhere and I have managed to hire the cream of the crop. That has helped enormously. In a matter of weeks I have gone from one or two customers a night to every booth and stool in the place being occupied on a semi-regular basis.... and that is as much due to the staff as myself."
LL: "Ahh so the prettiest staff. Do you hand select them yourself and give them personal interviews so you can *ahem* rate their performance and fitness levels in performing such duties? Im sure you're all on your feet for long periods of time and all that back and forth and back and forth must surely drain you at the end of the day. Even speaking of it makes me feel exhausted."
RG: "Well now, I get your insinuations and I can see how that would be an easy assumption to make....and I will not say that no interactions of that sort take place with My staff. What I will say is this....No person is hired on that basis nor is their job at risk if they choose to avoid such interaction. I rate My employees on the basis of their skill and work ethic and increase their wages when they deserve it. Working in a kitchen environment can be intense and some employees can grow very close but like I said..their job doesn't depend on it."
LL: "I see you didn't say no but you're open to such interactions with your staff. Very interesting and Im sure the readers would be delighted in reading this too Raven. Are you hiring now, for those job seekers out there and also I dont see many male staff or you don't swing that way?"
RG: "Lillian, do I have interactions like that with my staff? Yes, occasionally, am I hiring?Always, I need decent staff who are personable and social as well as qualified in their job skills. I do hire male employees as well...I am an equal opportunity employer. However, I do NOT swing that way, I enjoy the female form in all its shapes and sizes too much to bother with that of the male."
LL: "Well now, and Im sure you'd be very thorough but Im sure your female staff would handle the gents needs to the best of their abilities and not over charge them for their - meals- and as a Boss, do you make sure you take a percentage of their wages for yourself or are you generous and let them keep their tips?"
RG: "Whoa whoa whoa...this isn't the red room...or Pandora's or anywhere in the red light district. People don't come here for sex or to be serviced they come here for the food and the atmosphere. And for your information, most of my customers have been female."
As you can see from his very words, ladies and gents of Asphyxiation Point, you're well cared for at Fast Eddies Diner. Im sure there's some Chefs Special Sauce happening behind the counter but unfortunately this Reporter never had the chance to sample the thick slab of meat that Raven had tucked away. So next time you want to fill your stomach with some juicy meat, head on down to Fast Eddies and say hello to Raven. Maybe, if you ask nicely, he'll personally serve you. I think this Reporter will be going back to sample his Thick and Juicy in the near future.
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Asphyxiation Point Times