This evening, a very concerned man came into the AP Times main office. He said that he was looking for his daughter. Her full name is Kimisha Leann Colter, a 19 year old girl who had been seen at the Red Light District recently.

     The man is an attorney who worked as a prosecutor in New York, but now he is here looking for his daughter. Not many details of her whereabouts were shared as he didn’t know them; all he knew is that he wanted to meet with her again.
He also says that there’s a reward to help find her.

     We attach an image of her under the explicit request of the father. Any information could be forwarded to the APPD, to Captain Jay Biafra or to the AP times.

Kimsha, if you see this, your father is desperately looking for you!

Written by - Phedre Dumouriez

Not only were the ghouls and ghosts out at the recent Club Climax Halloween party, but so were the fashionable and the posh. Seems like nearly everyone who attended went all out to show off their creative (and creepy!) sides; even those costumes that required less thought were still elegant and spooky in their simplicity, while others were just down right HOT.

Poe Biafra put it plainly when she said, "There were whores with wings, whores with tails, whores with leather and some with spandex, just a whole lotta whores all over."

Maeve Muircastle - the Club's Hostess with the most-ess (skin to bare, that is) - quickly added, "With Captain Jay Biafra as the whorest of them all!"*

Indeed, there was a lot of skin showing - but what does one expect in a town like Asphyxiation Point?!

The soundtrack for the event was supplied by DJ Lil Wolf  - otherwise known around these parts as Sergeant Ame Paragorn - who was decked out in homicidal Panda attire as she spun a phenomenal mixture of themed tunes and classic club beats to keep the dance floor hopping.

Overall, it was a sexy, fun party (with great music and plenty of liquid refreshment) and a good time was had by all.

Rumour Ghost summarized it best: "With ghoulies and ghosties and long legged beasties, and things that go bump in the night, the party at Climax was indeed the best fright!"

To see for yourself if the outfits live up to the hype, please visit: https://www.flickr.com/groups/asphyxiationpoint/

*A photo of Captain Biafra was not available at time of print, but it can be said that Ms. Muircastle's comment was confusing, in that the man was dressed fully in jeans and shirt, carrying a baseball bat - a homage to The Walking Dead baddie Negan.

Written By Lois Whitfield


Asphyxiation point may seem as a small nice town located in Maine, it has nice weather, nice people, and lovely houses that make you want to stay. Still, some things happen below the surface, some things that are neither easy to say nor to read.

Sexual assault might be as old as human kind, perhaps even older than humans. It has always been the resource of males lacking ability and having the need to show strength against creatures that cannot fight back, for whatever reason, being it size, strength, physical ability, being drugged or under the influence of alcohol. Whatever way it is done, the general definition of sexual assault, is an attack towards the integrity of another person against their will, of course.

In this little and lovely town, sexual assaults have risen and they don’t seem to stop. A few months back, a sex offender hung himself in jail after attacking women of all social statuses, from police officers to well known members of the community, and now we are facing another man who has decided that he won’t take a “no” for an answer.

This man known as Michael James goes to his victim's homes as an ADT salesman, and finds a way to allow him inside. Once in, he does his things with them and leaves without being noticed. So far he has attacked 3 women in town, and has not been captured regardless the best efforts of the PD.

According to Captain Jay Biafra, in an exclusive interview with the AP times, sources say that he is trying to reform by going to therapy but also stated that he is trying to intimidate the victims somehow, the details of that intimidation were unclear.

Talking about laws and regulations, the Captain Biafra says that they are on the works of creating a sex offender registration program, to be able to notify the community about the dangers of the presence of some individuals, but for now it is all just a project.

He strongly advises women to carry with them pepper sprays and teasers, being this alarming advice yet a useful one that could spare you from all the hassle and pain. It is alarming how we have to teach women to protect themselves rather than teaching men not to rape, but that is a social and cultural discussion that will take some time to be had.

When asked about any programs that promote safety and prevention of sexual violence in AP, the Captain mentioned the existence of a “Women’s Shelter” located on 2nd street by the Police Station, it was supposed to be run by Anna De Luca, a local psychiatrist, that supposedly gave women self defense classes as well as house for victimized or homeless women.

When I went to verify this information and talk to miss De Luca about the shelter and its programs, I found that the shelter was no longer there.
It is yet to be investigated where did it go, why, and what will the city do about this raising problem of sexual violence in town.

In the mean time, Captain Biafra’s words are clear “Citizens are advised to contact the AP PD if they believe they have encountered the man in the sketch or get ADT solicitors at their doors”

Here we provide a sketch of Michael James for you to keep in mind. Sexual violence is not tolerable and the PD counts on you to find this sex offender.

Written By - Lois Whitfield

We have recently learned that our very own police officer Adam Hartly is also a great star in the hall of fame of Baseball. Along big names such as Hank Aaron, Honus Wagner and  Babe Ruth, we will have Adam ‘the Hare’ Hartly, one of the fastest players of all times.

His stats are as astonishing as the fact that he’s now hiding under the uniform of the APPD here in Aspyxiation Point. He was described as a man with a very calmed attitude while on the field; yet he was quick, always on his toes and very tactful.
It was also told that he had quite a strong arm, a quick reaction and quick footwork which gained him the nickname of “The hare”.

Today we had the pleasure of an exclusive interview with the man himself, and this is what he told us. His humble attitude towards it, makes the fact that he’s now part of the hall of fame much more interesting and appealing.

This is what he shared with us

Hello Adam, we have recently learned that you will enter the hall of fame of Baseball, yet it’s not well known for everyone in town that we have our very own celebrity.

So, we’d like to have a quick tour through your experience that led for the hall of fame to honor you with such an acknowledgment.

APT: What is the first memory you have related to baseball?
A.H: I was at the old Arlington Stadium with my Opa, who immigrated from Germany after defecting from the SS during World War I. The man loved his baseball and shared his love with me, since then I knew I wanted to play.

APT: How did you get into professional playing?
A.H: I started out in College playing for the University of Oklahoma, I was then scouted after my Freshman year and began playing then. So I took online courses.

APT:  How long did you play for the Texas Rangers?
A.H: I played for about 3-4 years before I left to join the Military

APT: How was your experience with them?
A.H: I loved the team, I'd give anything to be back.

APT: What made you quit and become a police officer?
A.H: Once again, I joined the Military and served in Afghanistan. I ran a Pizza shop here for a bit but eventually it became more rewarding to serve and protect.

APH: Do you miss it?
A.H:Every single day of my life

APT: How do you feel about this “hall of fame” acknowledgment
A.H: There's so many great names out there, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Honus Wagner, I feel unworthy to be among them.

APT: What achievements earned you that title?
A.H: I had a reputation for being one of the fastest guys in baseball, I was known as "The Hare" predominantly. My quick reaction time and heavy hitting I guess would be that. And my tendency to steal bases and be a daredevil.

APT:  Would you consider going back?
A.H: I would, but I don't know if I could leave this place. It's grown on me....

Thank you mister Hartly for taking the time of answering our questions, we extend a sincere congratulation on behalf of the whole staff at the AP times, and we are honored to have you with us in Asphyxiation Point.

Reported by Phedre Dumouriez

What started as a simple trial developed into something more akin to a three-ring circus yesterday at the Asphyxiation Point courthouse.

The case of Lyssander Ritter versus the State began as trials usually do – with a prosecutor and a defense; the latter being charged with one count of domestic terrorism, one count of aggravated sexual assault, one count of kidnapping, one count of gang assault, and one count of conspiracy.

But matters began to shift shortly after the defense waived her right to council and declined a stay of trial, instead opting to represent herself against this list of serious allegations.

Proclaiming her innocence from the very beginning, Ms. Ritter, (the known Leader of the Black Mamba’s gang) slew several curt accusations of her own back towards the Assistant  District Attorney, Eva Perry, and her client – one Vivian Lowe. Ms. Ritter’s main controversial contention was that the ADA was unfit to present the case, due to a rumored, existing ‘financial relationship’ with the defense’s wife Rhoslyn back when the original attack had taken place.

While Ms. Perry dealt with the Defense’s finger pointing with much aplomb – remaining collected even while going so far as to deny Ms. Ritter’s claims then and there – Ms. Lowe appeared to be uneasy during the entirety of the proceedings; sitting rigid in her seat and shaking her head often.

It was after the calling of AP Chief of Police Captain Jay Biafra to the stand – where he explained in detail how the original arrest had taken place and the charges that were laid – that Ms. Ritter appeared to have had enough of the proceedings. Stating at first that she was willing to confess, the defendant then began to spout off a list of ‘crimes’ that she had allegedly committed during her lifetime – none of them relatable to the trial at hand – and not stopping until Judge Aimee Dashrix banged her gavel and called the room back to order.

Unfortunately, order was not yet to be attained following this display, as the Defendant requested the right to ‘trial by combat’; calling out the Prosecution (or her Champion) to fight her instead. This was then followed by shouts of encouragement from Ms. Ritter’s entourage who were seated in the gallery, along with the exclamations from other spectators who were confused by the chaotic turn of events.

In the end, Judge Dashrix and the bailiff managed to bring the room back under control, so long as it took to declare that she had, “no choice but to rule on the matter as it has been presented to me.” Thus having decided, the Judge found the defendant not guilty on the charges of domestic terrorism and aggravated sexual assault, but did find Ms. Ritter guilty of kidnapping, gang assault and conspiracy. She also found the Defendant in contempt of court, and had her remanded immediately to the APPD jail.

This conclusion was obviously not satisfactory to the Defendant or her wife; the latter crying out additional accusations against the Justice system and the AP Police Force, suggesting that “The DA is a sadism loving freak and the police department is staffed by impotents.”

When asked about what he thought of the proceedings, Captain Biafra had the following to say. “I believe, so much as what was allowed, that justice is being served appropriately, though, I am shocked that the defense had no attorney on their side. The convicted will serve her time as it is administered and I am sure this will not be the last we'll hear from the Ritters, the Black Mambas, and their deeds.”

Reported by: Lois Whitfield

Last Sunday October 23rd was the spooky costume party behind the police station, it started before the appointed hour and many people had arrived before six pm, showing how excited they were to share with others.

Many attended in their best attire but only had a few winners. I must personally say that the winners for the scariest costume had it well deserved, a pumpkin head and a spooky clown –as if clowns weren’t spooky enough in their normal state- stole the show, as well as some other amazing costumes.

I managed to see 2 great takes on Harley Quinn, dark angels, a batman that arrived rather late, some dia de los muertos and a great old fashion ghost standing outside while screams of fear came from inside the spooky house, I heard they had their own scary clown in there, but I didn’t dare to walk in, I do appreciate a good night of sleep and was not about to jump into a nightmare. The party was a huge success; it was hosted by Amata Dawson and Vivian Lowe with the help of the Captain Jay Biafra.

This was my first event in town and I must say that the attendance was amazing, the cupcakes were to die for and there was enough booze to get everyone in town with an amazing Monday hangover.

Bucking Broncos Production is now hiring actors and actresses for their new film.
Experience is not necessary but is a plus. You must be an adventurous and outgoing person.
Flexibility is a merit and you should not have a problem with nudity.
Excellent rate of pay!

Leave your resumeé, with picture and contact information, to the AP Times office at 8th Beacon Street
(Second Life name: Emilih Parx)

Bucking Broncos Production is now hiring professional light setters, microphone and sound handlers and camera men.
Experience and merits is a must.

Leave your resumeé , with your contact information, to the AP Times Office at 8th Beacon Street
(Second Life name: Emilih Parx)

Bucking Broncos Production is looking for a setting for their new film!
Do you have an empty warehouse you do not use? Looking to earn easy money for your club and even get some free publicity? Rent your space to Bucking Broncos Production!

Contact Tony Branco on +I 207 456 398 (Second Life name: TonyBranco Resident)

"I shall never surrender my rights as a Woman!" - Dea Enzo

When I first met Private attorney Dea Enzo I was amazed by her appearance. It was sexy, it was revealing, it was a lot of skin. Curiosity got the best of me, and I asked her why, as she seemed a very sharp and sophisticated woman, why did she wear a skirt that barely reached below her cervix, along with a top that only showed off her 'assets'.
She was patient with my narrow minded questions, and explained that she was an activist for women's rights. This included women's sexuality and the right to dress however you wanted.

The attorney claims "When women bend for social standards, what to wear and how to look, they give up a piece of themselves". And perhaps she is right. I must say I admire her for the guts to walk the streets dressed in barely anything, for ignoring those leering eyes of the citizens, to expose herself to a world where women, if assaulted or even subjected to rape, will be asked what she was wearing that night. If her skirt was too short, or if much of her skin was exposed.

Maybe we should all follow Dea Enzo's example. Is it time to show off those bare shoulders and silken thighs. Is the world ready? Dea thinks so, and you can see the passion in her eyes as she speaks of it. At the end of our interview, the attorney  would shout out the words:
"I will fight, I will carry on the struggle, upon the streets, upon the beaches. I will never surrender!"
Maybe that is what it takes? That we all shout it out loud.



- Emma Parx
Asphyxiation Point Times