Investors Wanted
Street Whorritos, offering the finest Mexican food south of Third Street, seeks financial investors to ensure the future of Asphyxiation Point's hidden gem. A variety of investment levels available. Contact Amata Karas, business manager, for details. Let Amata customize an investment package for you. ​

​Seeking Santa 
Help Street Whorritos bring the ho ho ho this holiday season. The home of Poe's Messy Mexican Fingers seeks one sizzling Santa for lap sitting and making dreams come true for the holidays. Flexible hours, generous pay, plus keep tips. Interested? Apply to Amata Karas, business manager.  

SWF seeks sane human being for pansexual adventures through time and Space.

Must like:
Dogs

Be okay with a degree of human bondage.

Being the owner of a penis or a car or both is a plus but not necessary.  

If interested please contact
555-MAYA (Amaya.Grau)

ATTENTION Asphyxiation Point Residents:

Friends and family of a local missing man are requesting the help of all AP citizens in the search for their lost brother. They ask that you watch out for a man, 7' tall, 220 lbs. He has blonde hair and blue eyes. He goes by the name Vinnie.

Gone missing 6.19.2017; concerns are raised that this man is having a nervous breakdown. So, approach with caution. But the family is offering a reward. $500L for information leading to the whereabouts of their brother or $5000L for anyone that brings them home.

Have information? Contact Pawn it Off at (603) 555-7496.

Gentlemen!  Do you have what it takes to entertain a group of drunk, rowdy, single ladies? Do you have the moves to work a dance pole, table top? Do you enjoy the physical experience of gyrating, pulsing, thrusting, or otherwise ‘inging’ for the entertainment and delight of the female species?  If so, Climax has the event for you!  

Co me on down to the club on Friday, May 12 between 7pm – 10pm and shake what your mamma gave you!  Bar tab is paid for any male performing for 30 minutes or longer, and you keep all the tips the ladies send your way.  Nudity not required, but be prepared to show some flesh!  

Prior experience not required. A sexual preference for females not required either.  

You do not need to sign up, but if you plan to attend please stop in and let us know so we have enough furniture to accommodate.

OOC info - Please send a message to savvy.moyer in world if you anticipate being a part of the event so that we can get enough dance animation spots spread around the club.  

'​The Last Chance Garage will be celebrating its new ownership by holding a topless car wash this Saturday, May 5th from 2 pm to 5 pm. Boys and girls alike will flash their 'guns' (and other body parts) and show how dirty a clean garage can really get.

Bring in your car for a free shine. We do bikes as well!

For more information, contact Xelan Morgath 

Is your toaster just not getting that bread hot enough? Are your light bulbs not working when you flick the switch? Is your phone busted from when you dropped it on the dance floor?

Well worry no more. Call J-R enterprises and we will fix all of your electrical problems, be it household wiring, kitchen appliances or personal electronics! Phones, toasters, fridges, microwaves, stereos, and much more!

Call today at 123-FIX-IT-FELIX and we will send one of our technicians out to your apartment, or your current location! That's right, we'll come to you! At J-R Enterprises we guarantee that if we can't fix it, you don't pay! T&Cs apply. What are you waiting for? Call us at 123-FIX-IT-FELIX NOW! 
​
((Send an IM to jimmyjr73 resident for details and/or RP))

Es jur life too busy and full of fun to theenk about a doing the deeshes or scrubbeen the floor? Are ju too tired after a long day's work to make a homecooked meal? Dun worry about it...and call the Housekeeping Angel! She will take care of everytheen ju need! 

Contact AngelFuentes ((AngelFuentes Resident)) for a list of full services offered and to book jur housekeeping today!