"A night of mystery, glamor, and dancing."

Sunday, April 9th, at the Aristocrat

The Aristocrat is opening her doors to the elegant and sophisticated. Don your tuxedo's, zip up your fanciest gowns, and don't forget your favorite masks! The bar will be open, so come drink, schmooze, and get to know your fellow elite of AP!

By Chloe Voss

​Officials are investigating yet another shooting in the Lowertown area.

An apparent dispute turned violent as parties exchanged gunfire across 2nd street in front of the Hung Dragon restaurant. 

The altercation resulted in multiple injuries and the deaths of several animals most of which were dogs. A regional representative for (PETA or other organization) has decried the incident. 

Authorities are not formally releasing information about the individuals involved except to state that Mrs. Poe Biafra is being held in connection with the incident.

When asked about public safety in light of the growing violence in lower downtown Captain DeSanta of the APPD said the department, ".. do(es) our best to keep people safe.. We have to strike a balance between ensuring people are safe and ensuring folks don't feel we are watching their every move. But patrols have already been increased in (the) area."

With increased police presence in the lower downtown area, citizens can certainly feel safer in going about their daily activities. 

The Asphyxiation Point Times is proud to welcome yet another new reporter to the staff roster - Song Yheng. 

Song has a degree in journalism, having graduated at the Amsterdam University of Journalism and Social Media. She also loves reading, cooking and traveling by train.

"Having recently arrived in the US this is a whole new experience for me, getting to know the American way of life is a big adventure for me. I have worked  8 years as a critic in The Netherlands, writing my experiences with restaurants, clubs and shops for a local newspaper.  For now I will do the same here in this beautiful city, sharing my opinions with you, the readers of AP Times."

In regards to her familiar last name, Song says, "It was in fact my twin sister, Ming Yheng, from the Hung Dragon restaurant, who convinced me to come here. But let me assure you that my writing about my sister's restaurant will be neutral as neutral can be, as I take my job at the AP Times very seriously."

We wish the best of luck to you, Song, and look forward to hearing your thoughts about AP's restaurants and businesses!

​AP Times Staff

​Are you going Stag to the Second Chance Prom, or maybe Not going at all?  Well we've got something for the rest of you.  

The Leadership at Climax doesn't have the fond memories of our Prom as some others must.  It was horrible, boring night for us.  So why Celebrate an activity for the jocks and cheerleaders?  No, we think the other people deserve a chance to shine!  That's why on Saturday Night we're hosting The ANTI-PROM!

Saturday April 1, starting at 6pm get grunged up, we'll take you any way you want to come.  No Formal requirement here (although if you want to wear it feel free).  Ripped Jeans and Flannel, Black black and more black, Trench Coat, whatever you like.  We'll be playing loads of morose music up in here and having a good time.  

Half off Drink Specials will run throughout the evening.  And Be on the lookout for our Special Anti-Prom Special one time only drink "The Break-Up".  

It all starts Saturday at 6 SLT!

((For more information, contact Sav Moyer))

​*Once again the static of the channel changing flickers across the screen as the local AP news Chanel 68 cues up. Starting off today with a Shot of Raymond Wages and Kaylynn Garcia Sitting at the news desk.  Jeannie Webb is in the split screen down at the older Ferry docks that haven’t been in use since the direct international terminal line stopped several years ago.*

Jeannie: “As you can see behind me the buildings are still in pretty good shape, and none the worse for wear, but whomever takes over and sponsors the new International Terminal for either ferry lines or the proposed cruise ship lines is still going to have a lot of work ahead of them to get everything up to new standards as per the NSA.”

Raymond: “And this terminal is just one of eight that the state has opened up in the coastal area for forming a new port authority including direct international ferries into Canada?”

Jeannie: “That’s correct, eight of them were selected by the state legislation, two have been supported by local council, this one makes three.  They expect between the actual ferries, maintenance, security and inspection to open up a lot of job possibilities.  Not immediately, none of the companies expect to be up and running before twenty-eighteen, but it’s good news for the local economy.  Live from Green-Maple Ferry terminal, this has been Jeannie Webb.”

Kaylynn: “Thank you Jeannie.”

*The camera swings to a different angle showing Wilbert Woods who seems to be dressed up to the nines today, instead of his normal smart suit, he’s wearing a light blue Tuxedo with matching bow tie and cummerbund, A Bright orange Rose tucked into his lapel and his chest is absolutely showing with ruffles from the shirt beneath.*

Kaylynn: “And now we have the Dashing looking Wilbert with the weather we have coming up this week. I take it you are still advertising for the Adult Prom going on this Friday Wil?”

Wilbert: “That’s right, this particular tuxedo was what I wore to my own prom, yes yes…back in the day when I had a lot more hair to show off.”  *there’s some background laughter as the screen behind him shows the active weather map indicating dense cloud cover moving along the area* “And I do have to thank all the ladies on my Chatter and Friendbook feeds who have offered to accompany me to the event this Friday, but both Dean and myself are intending on showing up stag...”  *He looks in close to the camera with a playful wink*  “now the question is whether or not we leave that way. But in the mean time…”

*He clears his throat and moves back to point out the display. The weather overlay showing an obviously photoshopped pair of muscular men in thongs running hand in hand along the beach with Wilbert’s head on one of the bodies, and Dean’s on the other. As usual Wil doesn't seem to see the display*

Wilbert: “Today, Our highs will be in the sixties, but also only having lows in the low fifties.  Cloudy skies this morning will give way to rain showers across most of the Bay area. The wind doesn’t get too bad topping out with gusts of twenty miles per hour at times, Tonight the rain clears out and the winds die down a bit finally clearing out to be just cloud cover on Tuesday.  Tuesday the temperature climbs back up to the sixties, with chances of scattered rain showers here and there. That pattern of intermittent scattered rain continues on into the night, the low back in the fifties after sundown.”

*The Actual weather display shows up indicating each of the days in the weekly planner. Only if one looks at the “clouds” on the individual days they appear to have animated rolled joints below them “puffing” the “clouds” out into the field.*

Wilbert: “Wednesday and Thursday are both partly cloudy, those temperatures continuing to rise up into the mid-sixties as that warmer weather continues to fight its way to dominance.  Those clouds will clear out Thursday night, and Friday…”

*As he pulls up Friday several champagne bottles show up on the sides…shaking up and down and then bursting with an Eruption of “liquid” that settles on the weather indicator (And does kind of resemble a bukakke type shower if one has a dirty mind) forming the words “Prom Day!”*

Wilbert:  “Friday we get temperatures in the high sixties for the daylight hours, maybe even reaching as high as seventy, a mix of sun and clouds all through the day with light winds. A perfect day to go out and get yourself ready, and with low humidity means those hairstyles should stay in place ladies, This won’t last all night, however, as the front coming in early Saturday morning is bringing in more rain showers for the day after, meaning Saturday will be a damp one – a good day to stay home and nurse any hangovers that you might have following Fridays festivities.  And that’s the Weather for this week. Pay attention every day this week and take the poll on Thursday which of the Tuxedos you would want to see me in this Friday.  The poll opens noon on Thursday and runs till Eight AM Friday and can be accessed on our website. I’m Wilbert Woods.”

*The camera cuts back to Raymond and Kaylynn at the news desk*

Raymond: “Thank you Wil, how about that…it’s almost like somebody can’t decide whether to turn Mother Nature’s sprinklers on full blast or not. But hey – at least it’s not snow, right?!”

Kaylynn: “That’s right, and speaking of snow, Local game wardens have charged six men for killing nearly seventy Snowshoe hares above the legal limit for hunting such.  Five of the men it seems came up from Massachusetts and met with a local to travel to Grand Duck Island over the weekend.  During the course of their trip they hunted and killed eighty-seven hares in total! most of which were within the township limits of Frenchboro. We advise viewers these images taken may be difficult"

I understand this is short notice. I am a single white male, 6 ft 1  and in shape. I have all my teeth and hair. I enjoy moon lit walks on the beach and watching the stars and hearing the soft waves , Good books, And a glass of wine. I am a small Business owner with a lust for life. If you're a single female looking for a date for the Zen & Newton Prom. I would love to hear from you. Please respond to ( ###-###-####) .

Your truly hopeless romantic,
​
Stargazer

((OOC: Contact Miller R. Time (cowboyjas) in-world))

​If you or someone you love is suffering emotional breakage and unexplainable behavior, Bright Horizons is here to offer innovative therapeutic treatment. Services such as one on one counseling, group meetings, hypno-therapy, sensory deprivation and psychotherapy are provided.

Bright Horizons is prepared to treat mood disorders such as Major Depression, Bipolar Disorders and advanced states of grief. Trauma conditions such as PTSD, Dissociative Disorder and Childhood Trauma are a specialty. Personality and anxiety disorders can also be treated with our wide array of services.

Each patient will receive attentive and passionate care at the hands of Dr. Vicus Volkoff, MD.  A physician specializing in psychiatry and behavioral sciences. Phsycian's assistance and other staff members may also treat patients. 

Visit us today at Asphyxiation Point Hospital or contact Vicus Grau to set up an appointment. 

WKLH - The Lighthouse is an upbeat station, playing everything from 80’s pop, 90’s hip hop and today’s top music. It’s loaded with all the hits AP Islanders want to hear, giving listeners an opportunity to indulge in The Lighthouse’s playlist at work, in the car, or on their smartphones.

Originally just static on FM Frequency 101.7, The Lighthouse' unique new format gives a positive, energetic and fun vibe, while giving listeners the music they want.

“The Lighthouse was made for Asphyxiation Point, not just in the name, but in the playful, sassy and sexy persona the station brings to the Island,” says DJ Adrian Cronauer. "It's your beacon for music that doesn't suck!"

They're now broadcasting LIVE from the top of the island with all the best music through the decades.  It's music for you by you, so give DJ Cronauer a call and let him know what you want to hear.

Welcome, to YOUR Lighthouse Radio! 

((OOC: The SIM is now set to our own Radio stream.  To request songs, of should you have any questions or suggestions, please contact Sav Moyer (savvy.moyer) in-world))

Dear Readers,

Today is a wonderful day around the Island and the Asphyxiation Point Times news team has its own wonderful news to share.

Our Team is growing!

Chloe Voss has joined the Times team as of March 24th, coming to us as a journalist with previous experience in Salt Lake City.

“I look forward to meeting with people and sharing stories,” Miss Voss shared with the Times, “Getting to know each other is important in helping our community grow, be safe, and know they can trust the Times to be fair and accurate.” 

Chloe had previously worked as a social worker and in the food service industries. It's these experiences that she credits for  giving her personal confidence and made her no stranger to social interactions. Chloe’s Graduate’s degree is from University of Utah where she majored in journalism with a minor in science and psychology. Chloe has a passion for writing science-fiction in her spare time and practices her martial art skills to polish her self-defense. 

We wish the best of luck to you Chloe and welcome to the best source for news in Asphyxiation Point!

AP Times staff

​If you're a new denizen of Asphyxiation Point, a seasoned local or just someone down on their luck, The Dew Drop Inn is looking for YOU! 

We are now hiring all positions including clerks, maids and security. Put your personable or not-so-personable skills to good use and apply today!

No experience necessary and no background checks required.

Those interested can contact Ophelia Kane at XXX-XXXX (IM wokeupflawless resident) with their inquiries.