This Friday the 13th was an auspicious day for the AP Fall Social held from noon to three this afternoon in the park in front of the newly remodeled Anderson's Dockside Bar. Hosted by the beautiful and gracious Eva Perry, the picnic in the park was declared a resounding success. Dozens of AP's own and a good number of folks from away chatted, quaffed tasty hot and cold beverages, and sampled some of the finest homemade delectables to be found on our snug little home. This reporter, a relative newcomer, was delighted to be embraced into the bosom of one of the finest communities in this fair country. Many an old friend was greeted, new acquaintances met, and the whole crowd laughed uproariously at many a fine jape. The fall day was glorious, the food and drink were without compare and the company was unparalleled. Do yourself a favor and put the Winter Social on your calendar. This reporter certainly will. 

​By: Zinny

​Trick-or-treat arrived early this year for newly appointed Fire Chief Kendall Eiren when she was allegedly attacked by a woman dressed as a clown early Tuesday evening. According to reports, the woman approached Chief Eiren, accused her of being a "blue coat" and then lunged at her with a knife, stabbing the Chief in the leg during the ensuing struggle. Volunteer firefighter Kai Roberts ably assisted the Chief in subduing the clown woman after radioing for help from the AP Police department. The alleged assailant was taken into custody and Chief Eiren received treatment for her wound, from which she is recovering nicely. The clown woman refused to identify herself to police and carried no identification. An AP Times reporter spoke with the suspect and learned that she claims to be named "Fray". She speaks with what might be an Irish accent, looks to have been living rough, and was ravenously hungry. According to police sources, the suspect is "crazy as a shithouse rat..." and might face "long term commitment before there's ever a trial".

By: Zinny

Where has the Owner of Fredricks been this last week? Normally Ms. Ghost graces the end of the bar at her restaurant, Fredricks, greeting guests and making the patrons feel welcomed as they dine on the scrumptious fine meals Fredricks provides daily but where has the lovely Ms Ghost been as her absence has been noted.

When you hear screaming coming from one of the uptown apartments and the wailing cry of the ambulance following, you know something of gossiping interest has occurred.

Following the ambulance, I witness them stopping outside Apartment 1, 6 8th Street and bring out a bloodied female on a gurney, only to race the poor soul to the hospital. Once the police had cleared the scene, I looked through the windows to witness a grisly sight of a long dark pool of blood stretching from mid room to the kitchen and a couch overturned, lying almost upon the dining table. 

What had happened to this woman to lose so much precious blood and so many questions were raised that need answers. 

The injured woman was later identified as Rumour Ghost. Ms Ghost was heard to be crying, almost hysterically about a something or someone named "Hades" who can come to claim her soul and that it was this Hades who had attacked her, leaving her in an awful bloodied mess.

Who is this Hades? 
Are the citizens of AP safe?
What are the police doing to apprehend such a violent person(s)?
Are we no longer safe in our homes at night?

We wish Rumour a fast recovery from her injuries and look forward to seeing her back in Fredricks soon.

S. Harper-Penn
Freelance journalist
Asphyxiation Point.