I understand this is short notice. I am a single white male, 6 ft 1  and in shape. I have all my teeth and hair. I enjoy moon lit walks on the beach and watching the stars and hearing the soft waves , Good books, And a glass of wine. I am a small Business owner with a lust for life. If you're a single female looking for a date for the Zen & Newton Prom. I would love to hear from you. Please respond to ( ###-###-####) .

Your truly hopeless romantic,
​
Stargazer

((OOC: Contact Miller R. Time (cowboyjas) in-world))

​If you're a new denizen of Asphyxiation Point, a seasoned local or just someone down on their luck, The Dew Drop Inn is looking for YOU! 

We are now hiring all positions including clerks, maids and security. Put your personable or not-so-personable skills to good use and apply today!

No experience necessary and no background checks required.

Those interested can contact Ophelia Kane at XXX-XXXX (IM wokeupflawless resident) with their inquiries.

Have we got your attention now?  Good.  Because Climax is Hiring!

We're under new management and ready to shake this island to it's foundation.  Come join the Fun!  Be a part of the team that makes the Island Nights Hot and Steamy.

Seeking Hourly Staff (All Shifts available):
Bartenders
Waiters/Waitresses
Dancers
Door attendants
Event Hosts

Contract Position:
DJ

Salaried Positions:
Bar Manager - We all know Bartenders can be a lousy lot.  Missing shifts, drinking too much of the company booze, showing up hung over, screwing the guests.  All these things can happen in a single shift.  Do you have what it takes to manage this motley crew?  Then Apply Within!

Dance Captain - Dancers can be a surly lot.  Gossipy, Jealous, visiting the plastic surgeon weekly in a game of "I have the bigger tits".  Can you manage to keep all of this in check?  Come on down and boss a bunch of prima donnas around!

Event Host Manager - Do You have what it takes to be the Event Manager for the hottest club on this island or any other?  We're not kidding around here.  This job is a lot of fun, but it is also a lot of work.  Our Guests need entertaining, and your job is to keep them entertained.  Themed Events, Holiday Celebrations, Bachelor Parties, all these and more are your  milk and honey.  You could think of no better way to spend a Saturday Night than have fun with friends old and new and make some money at the same time.  If these things sound fun  then this may be the job for you.  Come by the club and fill out an Application!  We can't wait to delve into your skeleton closet and see if you have the right assets for this job!

All positions are available for interview at Club Climax.  Contact Sav Moyer with questions or to apply for any of the above positions.

Asphyxiation Point's finest dining establishment is currently seeking to fill several key positions. 

Fredrick's Restaurant, which offers ​succulent Lobster to thickly seasoned steaks, often imports cooks from all across the country for their guests dining pleasure and satisfaction; and the same level of refinement is expected from their most senior wait staff to the lowest dish washer. 

Previous training is appreciated, though not necessary, as they will provide personalized on-the-job instruction and all experience gained will go towards nationally recognized qualifications within the Catering Industry.

Shifts are varied and wages are above grade. Very inclusive benefits packages are also included for most qualifying employees and include dental. 

If you have a desire for excellence in providing quality and discrete service, please post your resumes to:
​
Fredrick's Restaurant
Attn: Rumour Ghost 
2 Eagle Ridge Rd
Asphyxiation Point

All applications considered. 

Locianna Godchaux (now Amat) and Deman Amat would like to thank their friends and family for having witnessed their vows and for being part of their special day. 

Mrs. Poe Biafra would like to invite those who knew and loved Mr. Jay Biafra to the church Wednesday the 8th at 6pm SLT. for a memorial of his recent departing via a tragic man vs train accident. He leaves behind a very loving wife, 6 beautiful children, Jinx [A son by some whore he had sexual relations with in his younger days], Moon Pie, Julian Jr, Joaquin, Jackson and Jayson. Please come and share your thoughts and reflections with family and friends. 

It is requested for those to donate to the homeless pigs of America foundation in lieu of flowers. 

Thank you, he will be missed. 

((OOC: Any inquiries should be directed to Poe Biafra))

(I'm the one on the bottom). My name is Mr. Teddy, though if you call for me I may not answer. I am a tan, fuzzy Teddy Bear about three feet tall sitting down. I've been lost since January 29th and my owner, Mary Underwood ((WickedEGrin)), is quite beside herself looking for me. If you can help me get home, I am sure she would be grateful. Like, very grateful. And I do mean Very. 

Please. A Bear disappears every few minutes (or hours or something) in the world. Only YOU can help give my story a "Happy Ending". 

Anyway . . . thanks for noticing,

Mr. Teddy

​Help wanted: Seeking personal assistant.  Must be good at short hand, long hours, have basic computer skills, and willing to travel.  Duties will include transcribing notes, setting up therapy sessions for patients, and answering phones, as well as processing patients payments.  Please drop your resume or apply in person by visiting Dr Isabella Coletti , 2nd floor of APH.

​Ms. More-Comfortable-In-Cargo-Shorts, seeks an escort to social entanglements... err engagements. Respondent should be male, mid-20's to late 30's, and capable of dressing both appropriately and, more importantly, inappropriately. 

You? Be shameless. Bonus points for goofy in a charming, rather than wincing, way. Be Roguish. Be geeky. Be entertaining to a woman of simple tastes and a base sense of humor. Be comfortable lurking in corners away from the action but prepared to regale members of the upper echelon of Asphyxiation Point, distracting them from your companion.

No expectations other than to give the Lady in question a Plus One to various events requiring her presence. In fact, she can guarantee you won't get laid. Are you Bored enough to offer your assistance? Interested respondents should send an email with the subject line "Knight in shining __(fill in the blank)__" to NeedanArm@sl.com. Creative Content encouraged.

​((Not a real address - Send a Notecard with response emails to WickedEGrin)).

​Do you find it hard to get a date?  Wish a woman would pay attention to you? Wrist too sore from repeated wanking?  You don't have to go it alone! Call xxx-xxxx (IM or notecard Amaya Grau) to make an appointment with your certified loneliness counselor.  Promise to never leave you blue or stiff!