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[Channel 68] "Action News Update"

1/3/2017

 
Picture
*The Channel changes, with the usual bit of static.  Showing the News Channel 68 Desk with Raymond Wages and Ariana Bening on one side of the screen.  On the other side is a Pink Cheeked Jeannie Webb Wearing a Toboggan hat and jacket grinning with a bunch of What looks like competition teams scaling up a series of Snow walls.*

Jeannie: "...And that's How Day Two of the Snow Queen Challenge here at Arcadia Park went Raymond.  A Hundred and Fifty teams started Yesterday the field currently stands at Seventy three remaining. They expect to raise Several Thousand Dollars this time around for the Parks for Everyone Charity."

Raymond: "Who would have thought that many people could have fun in the snow for a great charity.  We have some Go-Wow footage to show of your visit yesterday when you were inside the snow globe?"

Jeannie: "That's right Ray, The Snowglobe is a giant inflatable ball you get inside as the competitors run down a ramped slalom and try not to get run over by the globe.  The pair inside the globe try and drive it to knock them over, I had all kinds of fun!"

Raymond: "It sound it Jeannie...lets share that Go-Wow footage with the Viewers."

*The Screen shifts to the documented footage, but instead of something outdoors it's a hallway with some music playing in the background.  A Rather drunk looking Ariana wearing a Tight Dress with one strap half off and a Low cut front that practically shows all the goods is leaning in a Doorway marked "janitor" *

Ariana: "So you knows...Ish...Ish All Sush a Big Thinghs...Gosh and Freesh my Thits off in New Yorks...~Hic~ Oh Are you Sthucks recording The Party? Poor Things..."

*The camera moves up and down as if the person holding it is nodding and there's some non committal muffled noise in reply*

Ariana: *Flashing a Really sultry grin* "Well We can't let you mish out on all the Fun now Can we?"  *She Reaches out quickly and snags the Camera making the angle tilt and jiggle all over till suddenly it steadies in the one place it can only be, right smack dab tucked between her ample breasts looking out over the hallway with Dean standing there looking a little petrified.  Her hand appears in the view Taking hold of his Shirt and It seems she steps back into the Janitor's Closet pulling him along*

Ariana: "If You wanth it back You'll have to Go Bobbing for ith..."  *The entire camera jiggles as she bounces her breasts at him as if taunting him to go for it and she giggles* "You know...Tammi saith you have a big shaushage there in your pants..."  *She pulls him in closer as he seems a little lost for words and embarrassed*  "How about you Let me Geths a good taste of That Billy DEAN Shasuage..."

*From the Look on Dean's Face it's Obvious to tell where her hand is at that's not in camera as the angle continues to bounce and jiggle*

Ariana: "Letsh You get that Camera out and make shome Rheal news..."

*The camera shows her All but grab Dean By the eras and Drag him in...His face in full close up and well maybe a toothy grin there at the last second before everything is muffled black with a Deep moan sounding on the audio and the sudden sound of what can only be buckets and brooms being knocked over and crashing on the ground with some other muffled noises before suddenly somebody manages to stop being shocked and pulls the feed...the: "PLEASE STAND BY"  Image shows on screen for a couple of seconds before the camera picks up back on the news desk and A Raymond who may be a little shocked, or is trying like hell not to laugh, and a White as a Ghost Ariana who looks like she wants to hide in a hole and pull it in after her*

Raymond: "I...I apologize that seems to be footage from the News room Party on Sunday and not of Jeannie's time in the ball..."  *He puts his finger to his earpiece* "I have been asked by my producer to inform all our viewers that Billy-Dean Sausage incorporated is not a sponsor of Channel Sixty Eight news, this station or it's affiliates."
*Ariana Bites her bottom lip and starts blushing a deep shade of crimson...Either from rage at that being the only response or embarrassment.*

Raymond: "And now in the field covering the Island hop invitational Yacht Race, Billy...err Dean...Yes Dean, what can you tell us about this year's race?"

*Dean who it seems wasn't cued in till it was time for his piece seems a little puzzled why Raymond would call him the wrong name...The brief flash of Ariana before they cut away has her turning and giving Richard a "I will kill you!" Look*

Dean: "Um...yes Ray...It's Dean...The Same Dean as always...Well the Invitational this year seems to be prepared nicely...as you may or may not know...the yachts this year will not be allowed to have motors only sail power and trolling motors to go from island to island to collect their flags.  The captains are given the names of the islands they have to hit just before the start, and can chart any course they want, but have to arrive back at the finish line with all ten flags and in the shortest time.  I was told earlier that this year all the flags have been R-Eff ID Tagged to make sure that accusations of cheating like last year will not be repeated."

*As he Continues talking several seagulls circle about till one that looks like a Juvenile just dives and lands with an almost audible "PLOP"  Right on top of Dean's head...head quirked at the camera strangely as if seeing it's own reflection and then spreading it's wings in a dramatic "ROAR" Fashion it lets out a "CRAAAAAW"  And bites at the camera all the while over the mic Dean can be heard: "get off get off get off get off" As the camera cuts back to the newsroom.  Raymond Physically shaking with trying to hold his laughter in, it's obvious that he wants to blurt out a "that's what she said" or something similar but the death-look Ariana is giving him keeps that in check*

Raymond: "uP..."  *His voice cracking as Ariana kicks him under the desk* "Up next...Tips from the experts at shedding those unwanted holiday pounds, and keeping them off.  What you can do with all that wine nobody drank during the holidays instead of just throwing it out.  And what can you do when man's best friend hates your boyfriend.  All that and more after these messages from our sponsors..."

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