You're really the answer to my prayers. I have to admit I am not a man, I do not have a penis, but please do not discriminate me because of that. I have a huge problem with the likes of you and nobody to ask, ok? So thing is... my things, my monthly date, my period, menstruations. There, I said it. It's a bloody issue! Every time I talk about that with my man he seems to be uneasy, he acts like I am talking about something dirty, but during *those days* I am extremely horny and I would just like to be bent over and, yanno, that stuff. How can I let him know? Dunno, must be that I am also extremely emotional, every time I start talking about it I sob uncontrollably and he just looks at me like I come straight from another planet. Help me, Bro!
Bloody Desperate Housewife
Dear Bloody Desperate Housewife
You bring up some interesting points, You do understand that we are guys right? We damn near stick our man parts into anything that still has life in it and even some things that don't - like blow up dolls. We do, however, draw a line at crying, screaming , and irrational female BS at that time of the month. It's a little blood; it can be washed off, The other parts that go along with it can't be easily overlooked. So if you want your man to bend you over like the wanton tramp that you crave to be, head to the porn shop and buy a ball gag and keep it in your mouth for three days, Not only will you get more then you can handle from the Bro, all your neighbors and friends will shower him with gifts for making the world and AP a better, quieter place.
Sincerely The Bro that Knows
Editors Note: Just like with our 'Tell Z" column, the views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the Times itself or any of its other staff.
((OOC: If you would prefer a man's take on relationship advice, please send a notecard directly in world to Miller Time (cowboyJas).))