Dear Z,
I've recently had the misfortune of bedding a man twice. Why two times... well I was really drunk the second and thought he was someone else. Now he keeps calling me, but I really don't want to see him again. I keep trying to get it across, saying that I can't go out cause I'm washing my hair, or reorganizing my shoe closet... But he's really persistent. A little creepily persistent, if you get my meaning. The biggest problem though.. is that he ain't the biggest. He's got a really small dick and sex with him was like sticking a Q-tip up my cooter. I don't want to piss him off and end up with a broken nose like that blonde chick that I've seen around. How do I get him to leave me alone so I can enjoy all the big cocks I want without his little dick standing in my way?
Sincerely, M.
--
Dear M.,
Your case is probably one of the worst I have ever heard of, but fear not, there is an answer to this as well - even if you will have to be strong and endure a small dick at least one more time. Now grab a pen and a scrap of paper and be very careful to follow all the steps, and you will get rid of him in no time. First of all, don't answer him but leave him a f*ckton of messages in his voicemail and text him continuously. Make sure to be extremely mushy and declare him your undying love. Send him all the most romantic postcards and quotes that you can find. After a couple of days and about two hundred messages, you can finally drop the Wedding Bomb. Make sure he understands that your intentions are serious and noble, that you already chose your dress, and give him a hint about a suitable engagement ring. Statistically, he should block your number after the first 3 hours, but should he be more persistent, please contact me and we'll go for plan B - telling him you passed him chlamydia.
Yours,
Z
((OOC: Do you have a problem or need advice and don't know where to turn? Simply contact Zehena by dropping her a notecard in-world.))
I've recently had the misfortune of bedding a man twice. Why two times... well I was really drunk the second and thought he was someone else. Now he keeps calling me, but I really don't want to see him again. I keep trying to get it across, saying that I can't go out cause I'm washing my hair, or reorganizing my shoe closet... But he's really persistent. A little creepily persistent, if you get my meaning. The biggest problem though.. is that he ain't the biggest. He's got a really small dick and sex with him was like sticking a Q-tip up my cooter. I don't want to piss him off and end up with a broken nose like that blonde chick that I've seen around. How do I get him to leave me alone so I can enjoy all the big cocks I want without his little dick standing in my way?
Sincerely, M.
--
Dear M.,
Your case is probably one of the worst I have ever heard of, but fear not, there is an answer to this as well - even if you will have to be strong and endure a small dick at least one more time. Now grab a pen and a scrap of paper and be very careful to follow all the steps, and you will get rid of him in no time. First of all, don't answer him but leave him a f*ckton of messages in his voicemail and text him continuously. Make sure to be extremely mushy and declare him your undying love. Send him all the most romantic postcards and quotes that you can find. After a couple of days and about two hundred messages, you can finally drop the Wedding Bomb. Make sure he understands that your intentions are serious and noble, that you already chose your dress, and give him a hint about a suitable engagement ring. Statistically, he should block your number after the first 3 hours, but should he be more persistent, please contact me and we'll go for plan B - telling him you passed him chlamydia.
Yours,
Z
((OOC: Do you have a problem or need advice and don't know where to turn? Simply contact Zehena by dropping her a notecard in-world.))
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