The commotion began when a woman identified as Lyrical 'Poe' Unique Poem arrived and made loud complaints over the choice of meat being served. She strolled through the crowd and approached the spit and began to shout and threaten to take the pig off the roaster and give it a proper burial. Many on hand took exception to having the evening's food be destroyed instead of eaten, including myself.
As a concerned, and hungry citizen I moved toward the food as was subsequently pelted with small stones the woman found lying on the ground. Moving defensively through the barrage of rocks I managed to get close enough to the roasting pig to try and cut some of it away.
The crowd also intervened as members of the APFD brought a fire hose to bear on the woman. The hose was initially set to give a misted spray, enough to annoy and distract the woman while AP Hospital Dr Arizona Renfold approached the ranting Ms Poem with a syringe of Valium. Others, including District Attorney Eva Perry, who later admitted she had invited Poe just to see her reaction, and Dr. Deranean Sands-Anderson stood to Ms Poem's side and would attempt to talk her down from her aggressive attempt to save the pig.
At one point Ms Poem's psychiatrist, Dr. Leigh Silvershade, became involved and assisted in trying to talk the woman out of her actions. This course of action seemed to be working until D.A. Perry made an odd mention of garden gnomes. This caused the already apparently unbalanced woman to go deeper into some sort of delusion, claiming that the gnomes were to blame for everything. It was at this point, with Poe distracted that I tackled her only to be repeatedly assaulted in my genital regions before she turned to try and crawl away.
Seeing the woman crawling the fire department took the opportunity to blast her with a stronger force from the hose. Undeterred Poe continued to slink herself away and to safety. Unfortunately for her she crawled past the picnic table where my wife, Jadey Dragon, had been sitting and who was now very upset over the events. Jadey leaped from the table and landed on top of Ms Poem who cried out in fear "THE GNOME GOT ME!" The two of them traded wildly flying punches, hair pulling and name calling for several minutes and a young friend of Mrs Dragon's, a boy going by the name of Peter Pan, also joined in, attempting to assist Jadey.
APPD Chief Warwick DeSanta, who was in attendance as well, decided to step in and stop the fracas. He approached the two ladies and young boy as they punched, spit and clawed at one another on the now muddy ground. DeSanta was aided by another, probationary officer who struggled to pull the boy and Poe apart. DeSanta took hold of jadey Dragon's arm and attempted to pull her away. Due to the wet grass and mud, DeSanta lost his footing and fell backwards into a tiki torch which, in turn, ignited the paper table cloth covering the table. Seeing the fire DeSanta stood to clear the area, but fell backwards over Jadey who had been resting behind him after the struggle.
Firefighters scrambled to extinguish the flames as those in the scuffle were separated and detained until they calmed. Once the flames were out and somewhat calmer heads were starting to prevail the situation was brought under control. No formal charges were filed against any of the participants of the disturbance and no one was seriously injured.
Some have speculated that future events in Asphyxiation Point should have tighter security after the evenings events. Of the last three, all have ended up with some form of violence erupting. Is tighter security the answer? Or are we destined to see this type of behavior no matter what steps are taken.
Reported by Pen Dragon