​Today, Mid Town had an unpleasant surprise when they stepped out of their doors. Residents and visitors were greeted with the stench of a freak sewage leak over at The Last Chance Gas and Garage that seemed to permeate the entire area. The odorous waste material had spilled all the way across the business's parking lot and out onto the street.

Officer Phokos was observed to be on the scene. shortly after, firefighters arrived and worked to contain and dispose of the mess as quickly as possible. Bystanders looked on as the scene was contained.

We, here at Asphyxiation Point Times, certainly hope that the owners can find the source of the leak and stem the flow of sewage from happening again. Otherwise, someone will be in deep... so to speak.

Television gives us the bright and happy side of life in suburbia, something some of the citizens of Asphyxiation Point are familiar with. A world where you step outside in the morning, stretch and maybe even walk to work, not fearing anything. Not even the neighbor's dog, who you stop to pat on the head on your way by. Other parts of town, people don't have it so easy, sure. There's always danger in the rough parts. But I learned today that citizens of Asphyxiation Point have something more to fear than most cities, and it goes by the name of The Immortals.

Some people ask, are we ever truly safe with evil everywhere? Today, I can say with confidence that we are not.

As I stood outside the Asphyxiation Point Times office two people approached me, seemingly harmless and friendly. Then, with a flip of a switch, I found myself pinned to the wall by my throat as the man allowed the woman to stab me. And what's worse? They took the time to enjoy, relish and bask in their actions, even toying with my wound.

I'm sorry if this scares some of you. But when it comes down to it? You should be. Their message was hate, fear, violence and anger. They spoke of gods of evil - Hades, Nyx and Erebus. And as I was treated for my wounds and the police took my statement, I heard more than one story from others who had also been attacked by members of this "family", as they called themselves.

The people that attacked me? A man and a woman. He was handsome, but don't let that fool you. He wore all black, his hair shaved on the sides, and he was tattooed. And while that isn't necessarily a bad thing, his very essence was seething with evil. The woman? She was blonde and pretty with plenty of scars. A pain fairy is all I thought of when she was enjoying her task. And with only one eye. But I assure you, they are not alone folks. These two surely belong to a greater evil that is spreading through our city like a plague.

Their motive to attack me? They wanted me to make sure you all not only knew their "family" name but also their message.

Should you continue to step outside your homes, free of worry and full of optimism for your day? Or should you cower and fear this group? Well, I suppose you have to decide that for yourself. But rest assured, they are lurking in the shadows, and they are not afraid to strike in the daylight. From all of the accounts I've gathered, if they set their sights on you, you will not see it coming. It's not for me to tell you what to do. It's purely for me to give you their message...

Fear The Immortals.

Contributed by Nora Adara (jstjdysl619)

​*Once again the familiar channel surfing brings up the CH 68 Local news. The opening picture is of Jeannie Webb standing at the familiar Coast Guard dispatch docks with a half-submerged fishing boat with crews attaching “floaties” to the sides to keep it from going fully under.*

Jeannie: “…in the vicinity of Bear Island when the captain radioed for assistance with the ship taking on water around noon. The boat hit a submerged object and started flooding more than the pumps could handle. The Coast Guard dispatched support craft and additional pumps and were able to tow the boat back to dock safely. None of the crew were hurt, and once the floatation bumpers are installed the boat will be towed by a tug to the drydock facilities where it can be inspected and hopefully repaired. This has been Jeannie Webb.”

*The camera cuts back to the AP Ch 68 newsroom with Ariana Bening and Raymond Wages at the news desk.*

Raymond: “Once again the Coast Guard comes in to save the day. I wonder what they hit? I’d say it was Nessie, but we’re a bit far from Scotland.”

*Ariana gives him a wry look even as she chuckles*

Ariana: “Could be, but with the way the weather has been of late, it could have been anything and they just couldn’t see it with all the silt stirred up.  Speaking of what to expect, here’s Wilbert Woods back finally and ready to give us the forecast. Welcome back Wil, what does the wind surfing forecast have in store?”

*The camera cuts over to Wilbert Woods wearing his usual stylish suit and tie at the Weather center, only a strapped on neck brace and his firm positioning stance shows he’s strapped into a full back brace beneath the jacket to keep from further damaging his spine.*

Wilbert: “Well I don’t know about Wind surfing for the near future, but we do have some good news on the weather front.”

*The green screen behind him shows a Photoshopped image of Wilbert as some kind of cyborg with blank robotic stare and a word balloon: “Beep beep, all your weather is belong to us, beep” floating above it. As usual it doesn’t seem to be the same image Wil sees on his monitor.*

Wilbert: “The cold front that had been moving through the area finally passes through later on today and early tomorrow, making it a Chilly but sunny Saturday with the highs in the Upper sixties, and lows in the upper fifties overnight.  Sunday we start off with clear skies and sunshine, with several clouds trailing in the wake of that front blowing in by the afternoon, pushing the temperature up into the upper seventies with moderate winds in the fifteen to twenty-five miles per hour range.  Overnight the temperature drops to the mid-sixties.  Monday, those clouds stick around causing the temperature to keep rising, reaching a high in the low eighties, later on in the afternoon several scattered thunderstorms develop here and there, but don’t linger around too long.  This intermittent rain and storms will continue on into the night, though the temperatures remain high only dropping to the upper sixties.”

*He keeps indicating several bouts of weather on the radar with his hand showing the clouds moving through and fading back out. Here and there little cartoon figures seem to be wind-surfing on the clouds only to be “smacked” off and crash as Wil motions to them.*

Wilbert: “Tuesday morning those storms begin to pass on out, and the temperature reaches the mid Eighties in the afternoon with the skies clearing out.  Overnight it stays warm and in the low seventies. Wednesday and Thursday both are warm and with mostly sunny skies temperatures in the upper eighties perhaps even hitting the ninety degree mark on Thursday afternoon.  Later on Thursday those clouds roll back in causing intermittent lingering showers and a couple of storms that may get a little close to severe after the midnight hour.  Those showers stick around into Friday morning causing a bit of a Chill from the rain and winds dropping the temperatures back into the upper sixties, sticking around into Saturday with a High of the low Seventies later on Saturday afternoon. Those showers continue on into the nighttime hours and should make for a wet and colder weekend.  Remember you can download and install the local weather app on your phone from the link on our website.”

*The camera cuts back to Ari and Raymond*

Ariana: “Not a bad prospect for getting out and doing some things during the week. I bet that’s the kind of news our field reporters like to hear.”

Raymond: “Naturally, and with the cold front moving on out, so has fishing season for the Atlantic Menhaden.  With that story we go to Dean Knopinski."

*The camera cuts to a moderate Fishery where workers are unloading fishing ships with buckets of silvery-white Fish some the size of a hand others at least a foot long being scooped out of the holding tanks and transported into the waiting fishery.  Dean stands outside wearing a poncho despite the weather and looking a little distrustfully at the various goings on.*

Dean: "Uhrm yes of course.  The Atlantic Menhaden, also known as the Pogy, isn't a fish usually used for eating.  It's usually processed into fertalizer, pet food, and Fish oil of which it's abundant.  Likewise smaller fishermen that catch them will turn around and sell them as bait for other types of fishing.  This has been the case since the times of the natives, and it's even commonly believed that Squanto demonstrated how to use it for fertilizer for the Pilgrims when they were settling."

*He Jumps to the side as one of the Ropes used to guide the buckets flops down with a wet SPLOOSH where he had just been standing*

Dean: "Ah..Um..Well anyways, The Fish at one time had a massive dwindling population due to over fishing and other causes, so a strict limit  of nearly two-hundred thousand pounds is in place to prevent over-fishing of the species. They have just reached that level according to the latest tallies and the season is considered closed."

*Suddenly without warning one of the Buckets moving around from the ship veers and hits against a guide-rail.  Dean glances up and Lets out something that the Censors ~BLEEP~  out and Jumps back.  The bucket of squirming thrashing fish tips over and dumps itself all over where he had been standing.  Those with a Quick eye will see him looking almost triumphant for a minute before he realized he stepped back out of the way right of the side of the dock and as the camera races over to look down into the water he can be seen bobbing around in the oily grimy filled with fish scales and other detritus pumped out of the hold for unloading that's floating on the water below.  Before the camera cuts back to the News Desk.*

Raymond: "I'm sure he'll be okay.  But amazingly enough speaking of things in the water, Kaylynn Garcia has an interesting story from Avalon National park, Specifically Bar Island.  Kaylynn?"

*The camera cuts to Kaylynn as she stands out among the various little natural carved benches and trails anyone familiar with bar Island would know of.*

Kaylynn:  "Thank you Ray, Many know bar Island as a place for picnics, summertime walks and secluded beaches where many a marriage proposal has been made.  But the national park service has changed it's policies should you find yourself stranded."

*The image shows a CGI modded map of the Island and park shoreline.  Showing a Strip of Sandbar that appears at Low tide and then sinks beneath the water during High-tide as Kaylynn speaks in voiceover*

Kaylynn:  ~Voiceover~ "Bridge Path, or the Sand bar that connects the island to the mainland at low tide is the only way to get from the park to the island on a regular basis. Staying that way for over nine hours once the tide rolls in, in the past if you missed the tide and couldn't get off the island, you could call the park service and they would send a boat out to pick you up.  Due to rising costs and frequency of visitors the park service will no longer offer this service except in cases of extreme emergency, and has instead contracted with a water-taxi service, whose number is provided on the signs warning visitors not to miss the tide, to come and pick them up.  The cost for pickup and delivery back to the park entrance, which is the only place they can safely dock and offload passengers, runs about a hundred and fifty dollars per person. "

*The camera cuts back in to Kaylynn as she stands there near the visible stone and dirt bar that runs across the small islet.*

Kaylynn: "Likewise new no parking signs have gone up on the Bar, indicating that vehicles should not be parked there, but some have taken to ignoring these and park there anyway.  The National park service has started issuing fines for illegal dumping of banned materials at sea for vehicles stranded on the bar or that are washed out into the ocean, starting at ten-thousand dollars and not including the cost that the owner of the vehicle must pay to have the vehicle retrieved from the water. This is hopeful to help decrease the amount of cars being parked illegally and as a deterrent to the same.  Hopefully this will mean less salvage ships pulling up wrecks from the bottom that can diminish the natural beauty of this island.  From Bar Island, this is kaylynn Garcia, who is going to get back to the park before i get stuck over here."

*She winks and grins and the camera cuts back to the news desk once more*

Raymond: “And here I thought taking a cab in Boston required a third mortgage on the house. I wonder when Halo, or the other rideshare companies will start branching out into the water-taxi business.”

Ariana: “That does sound like an interesting thought.”  *She smiles and turns to face the side camera as it re-centers on her* “We have a correction for a story we ran previously.  Earlier on the news we reported twelve dead members of the Lefty Lane Gang who were found gutted and on display in a residential home over the week. This is inaccurate and is actually two different stories that due to some confusion in research and writing for our show got pressed together.  The twelve members of the Lefty Lane were in fact found dead, but local officers claim it looks more like a falling out between members that had them kill each other. The part about gutted and display came from a separate story about a half dozen display homes for a model community that were damaged.  A semi-truck driver fell asleep and ended up driving through the homes gutting them in the process.  Nobody was hurt since they were model homes for display purposes, but the damage was estimated to be nearly three-quarters of a million dollars.  Our Producers advised us of this discrepancy and we apologize for the misleading report.” *She flashes a smile at the camera that does it’s best to look genuine.*

Raymond: “Well sounds like both departments need to get some more coffee in them before they sit down to write and research.” *He adjusts a couple of papers in front of him* “Up next, Several plans for new cellular towers in the bay Area, and how this may affect your service as well as your bill. Also, Spam posters on Chadslist dot com, why are they there, why do they do it and why are they so bad at it. All that, and more, after these commercials.”

*Cuts to Commercials*

​*As usual the station tunes into the local Channel 68 news and weather with a slight crackle of static as it fades in on Ariana Bening and Raymond Wages at the main news desk.*

Raymond: “Oh, I hope he keeps his mouth closed and doesn’t swallow any of that…”

Ariana: “Ouch! Well I guess that’s why the city department of utilities advises people not to go freelance exploring in the discovered underground.  That rusted metal plank certainly wasn’t up to the task of holding Dean up.”

Raymond: “I’m sure he’ll be fine once he can climb out and they hose him off.  Either that or he’ll follow the current to the processing facility and they’ll get him there.”  *He adjusts a couple of papers in front of him and turns to a side camera* “In other news, Longtime Northeast Harbor summer resident and former National Security Advisor to President Jimmy Carter, Zbigniew Brzezinski passed away at a hospital in Virginia on May 26. He was 89 years old.”

Ariana: “He was born in Poland, rose to become one of the foremost foreign policy experts in the country. He enjoyed entertaining family and friends at his local summer home, “Tranquility Base.” Brzezinski was a familiar face at local lectures and libraries. His memoir, “Power and Principle,” was published in 1983, and due to donations to the local school system the Bay area middle school has a computer workshop and research station in their library named after him.”

Raymond: “Our condolences go out to his surviving family and friends for their loss. On another note, Wilbert Woods is still out due to pulling a muscle in his back at the Wind surfing competition he was at over the weekend, so here with some brighter news on the weather is Tammi Bean.  Tammi?"

*The camera cuts on over to Tammi standing at the Weather station with a big Grin on her face and she waves across the studio to Raymond. *

Tammi: "Thaaaanks Ray!"

*Speaking as if she doesn't have a Mic pinned to her chest and you can just catch sight of Ray wincing as his earpiece picks up her call clearly.  Steadying herself with her "Serious" Look aka the Feet planted together arms at her sides and Pouty lips with just the corner of her tongue sticking out the side as she prepares to be all serious about the weather.*

Tammi: "Okay...So all that rain we were having overnight, well that stuffs gonna stick around unfortunately. It makes the thermometer stay with only sixty seven or so little circles all through the day so it's gonna be a day to wear the extra thick bra." *She nods sagely* "Extra padding in front to keep from getting sore.  This is going to be how things are for the next couple of days.  Lots of Clouds and Some bits of the rain falling keeping those circles in the Low areas.  I think on Friday we have thunderstorms and a higher little circle into the Seventy Five area. "

*She presses a button on the remote and an animated weather track shows up indicating that cold front line blowing into the area from the West*

Tammi: "And no wonder...the big blue line is going to come sweeping on through!  I mean look at it it's just WHOOSH...Blowing on in....I'll have to take down my laundry so it doesn't get knocked over....I don't have anything that goes with that color...So yes...big blue line due to come in over the end of the week so make sure you bring in anything too tall just in case it flies too low overhead.  And I feel sorry for those of you who have tall houses...this thing looks ginormous! Probably take those towers off and OH The Lighthouse...Somebody needs to call the mayor and let him know about this thing!"

*As she babbles the Screen behind her changes to the Weekly rundown indicating most of the days of the week as being cloudy and occasional storms scattered about.  Thursday and Friday show Thunderstorms on the Readout....the temperatures lingering between the Mid Fifties and upper Sixties with occasional showings in the low Seventies on those days with the storms as the cold front moves into the area and On through.  Winds seem to be in the Mild range with occasional bursts but nothing that Shows a Wind warning.  Sunday and Monday of next week seem to clear up and show Sunshine indicators on them as the temperature gets back up into the upper seventies as those days roll around. *

Tammi: 'So make double sure you lock down the windows and pull in those pets and maybe do something to keep it off your roof cause that's a big blue line that's coming right on in.  Oh I'm so glad my apartment is on the first floor!"  8She blinks a bit as someone talks to her from the side*  "Oh yes...this has been weather, back to you ari...I have to go call the mayor..."

Ariana: “Um…yes…thank you Tammi.”

Tammi: “Wel-Come!” *She can be heard replying before her mic is turned off taking Ari’s thanks at face value*

Raymond: “Well with that it looks like the upcoming Lions Club Bike Rodeo will have a good Saturday for it.  We go to Jeannie Webb who is at the site where they are setting up for the various events. Jeannie?”

*The camera cuts to Jeannie wearing elbow pads and holding a bike helmet standing next to an open space with several BMX types practicing tricks and bouncing on their front or rear tires in the background*

Jeannie: “Thanks Raymond, this Saturday the Bay area Lions club and local police departments are gearing up for the annual Bike Rodeo. Such events as the slow race, the wheelie competition, the bunny hop and many more.”

*The camera shows video from last year’s event with Jeannie trying to keep from putting her foot down or falling over in the “Slow race” and a video of her pulling up for a wheelie in the “longest wheelie” competition only to have her lose control, the bike slip out from under her and as she lets go of the handlebars the bike goes crashing into Dean who was on the sidelines as Jeannie talks in voiceover*

Jeannie: ~Voiceover~ “The annual event takes place this Saturday at the bay area Public festival grounds from Ten AM to Five PM, The last time to sign up for events is half an hour before they begin.  There are classes on bicycle safety, rules of the road, upkeep and how to check for wear and tear, and more.  Also the local PTA group intends on having their cookout pot-luck in the park at the same time so there’ll be food and festivities a plenty!”

*The camera cuts back to her directly*

Jeannie: “Also this year several of the BMX Stunt Troupe have come down to put on several shows of skill and display numerous tricks. As always they talk with the kids about how it takes years of practice to get this good to try and head off any bad accidents. Everyone should come on down and enjoy the festivities!  From the public festival grounds, I’m Jeannie Webb.”

*The camera cuts back to Raymond at the news desk*

Raymond: “Sounds like it’s going to be a fun time. After the break, parking uptown this summer you may feel like you are being watched. How parking enforcement is setting up stakeouts to make sure time limits are strictly enforced. Six casks of imported liquor went missing from the docks, we'll have the story on where they ended up.  all that and more after the break."

*Cut to commercials*

​*As it’s time for local news and weather, the familiar crackle of static as AP Local CH 68 is summoned forth from the Television Ether can be heard. The picture forms up on the familiar round-table set of the Point, Counter-Point program. The news team’s own Dean Knopinski speaking.*

Dean: “Well Marc, I have to both agree and disagree with you on the subject.  I agree that there’s no such thing as an impartial journalist…” *The host of the show can be seen grinning and about to cut in.  “…but that doesn’t mean that there can’t be impartial and unbiased reporting.”

*Marc Langler and several others at the table all seem to start speaking at once while Dean just holds up his hand to ask for them to calm down*

Dean: “If you will allow me to explain…” *The camera focuses entirely on Dean, showing at the bottom: “Dean Knopinski, BA Journalism, Emerson College”*

Marc Langler: "Well I certainly hope you would."

Dean: *He smiles and steeples his fingers over his coffee mug on the table* "All journalists are human beings, therefore will form an opinion and thus be biased in any regard to a story.  With some of the stories we cover it's impossible to avoid bias, unless someone is a complete sociopath.  But they don't have to let that opinion show in their reporting.  The same way that someone puts on a fake smile and asks you if they can help you find anything when you go shopping, while inwardly they just want you to leave them alone or go kill yourself."  *That illicits a chuckle around the guests at the table as Dean picks up the coffee mug and takes a sip of what's inside*

Dean: "When I was still in school, in one of the writing classes the professor gave us an assignment. Write a persuasive piece about whether it's better for someone to go out and invest time and money into their community, or if they should spend that on themselves. fairly simple assignment, and you know everyone is going to write on what we've been taught where improving everyone in the community's standards makes you a good neighbor and makes things better for everyone, yourself included, yada yadda yadda.."

*The camera cuts to show several of the other panelists nodding in agreement or smiling lightly, most of them probably have similar memories of writing assignments*

Dean: "Well I was doing well in the class and, to be fair, feeling a little snarkey about a review of another paper I did for him, so instead of taking that side of the subject, I picked the opposite side. "  *One of the Guests holds her hand up over her mouth like that's some kind of shameful thing while another chuckles at his audacity.*  "Well as you can imagine, after we handed them in I was dreading getting called out on it, so when he asked to see me after class and I saw my paper sitting there on his desk I was feeling a little torpedoed.  Then I thought, well heck it's a persuasive paper and meets all his criteria, if he didn't like it he had best be ready for an argument."

*Another bout of Chuckles and laughter as Dean squares off his jaw and holds up a fist in a mock threatening way.*

Dean: "Well he didn't seem angry or even ask me what I thought he would.  he simply put his hand on my paper and asked me: 'Do you really believe this?'  Which kind of threw me because well I hadn't...and I said that no, I didn't actually believe that was the best way.  he nodded and asked me then: 'Well then why did you write it?' still being kind of snarky and headstrong at the time I shrugged and told him that I wrote it to see if I could, which wasn't completely false, I had mostly written it to see if I could get away with it.  he nodded and told me I was the only one who got full marks on the paper because by the end I had nearly convinced him to change his stance on the issue."

*There's some gasps and one of the other guests claps lightly at the story*

Dean: "You may have a bias, That's only being human, but that doesn't mean you have to let it influence what you write or report. "

Marc: "Interesting, but what do you attribute the whole wave of biased media that we are seeing now where some of us see the source as being Fast News or other sites and won't even read the topic knowing it's going to be horribly skewed away from what the truth is."

Dean: "Well first I think you can learn a lot from reading or watching the proponents of both sides of any issue, if only so you know where your crazy uncle is coming from at the family get together when he rants about something.  But this is where competition begins to backfire and capitalism corporate competition fails the journalism industry. the thought is the more competition the better or cheaper a product you have to produce to keep competitive with your rivals. it fails when there's too much competition and the product you are selling is information.  Back when things started out there were what..Four channels, three of which had evening news?  Sometimes you could switch from one channel to another and they'd be covering the same story and finishing each other sentences nearly.  All of a sudden we have thousands of channels a lot of which claim to offer news, competition increases, heck I think I even saw a Mtv news channel the other day, not sure what they report on but I imagine it's not Music..."

*Another round of Chuckles and laughter at the joke as Dean takes a sip and proceeds.*

Dean: "That's where marketing needs to be able to sell advertising space to targeted demographics for commercials and make money to keep the channel running.  And thus are reporters convinced to report news from a biased stance to engage those viewers that marketing wants to sell products to.  See Humans are hard wired to learn from others.  You put somebody down with fifty articles from various sources to read, they may maintain the information they read over there, but if you ask them later on where they heard that information from, the couldn't tell you.  but if they watch Myself or this show or another news program they'll be able to say: 'Oh yes Dean was saying something about that the other day.'  or 'I saw a special that Benita did on SAP about that'.  The put a face with the information because a news program engages them on a person to person basis.  And thus you want the person teaching you or giving you information to be saying things you want to hear.  So long as marketing needs to boost revenue sales, news programs are going to continue to become more biased to lock down those viewership numbers, to continue prostituting themselves to the public. It's a fairly vicious cycle where you need the money to continue broadcasting, but you have to keep being entertaining and engaging a specific market segment to get that money, and if you start pandering too much is what you are broadcasting true, or is it as bad as reality television."

*The camera centers on the familiar duo of Ariana Bening and Raymond Wages in the CH 68 News room, looking at the camera.*

Ariana: That was our own Dean Knopinski appearing on the most recent Point, Counter-Point round table. The topic was: 'bias in the media.' We obtained special permission to rebroadcast it.”

Raymond: “Interesting stuff, I didn’t know he attended Emerson College.”

Ariana: “I did.”

*Raymond quirks a brow at her but smiles and lets it go at that, though he does flinch a bit as if she kicked him under the table.*

Raymond: “During the filming of that episode, it seems one of the other guests became annoyed at something the host, Marc Langler, said during a break and threw her coffee mug at the man. She missed and hit one of the mic operators who unfortunately lost control of the boom microphone which swung around and knocked Dean off the stage into the food service table. We have no footage of the unfortunate happening, but are told that the doctors do not believe he has a concussion and are keeping him in the hospital overnight for observation. He’s expected to be fine and return to work later this week.”

Ariana: “That’s great news! Get well soon Dean we miss you!”

*She adjusts her papers and puts the “television smile” away as she turns to face the second camera as it switches to her*

Ariana: “After numerous heated arguments on both sides, the local municipality of Trenton has decided that residents will still have to apply for permits when they wish to hold a yard or garage sale.  Voters and the board of selectmen both turned down two amendment articles that would exempt Yard and Garage sales from having to file the paperwork for permits on Friday and Tuesday respectively. The results of the votes were just made public this morning.”

Raymond: “Looks like a lot more Trenton residents will be powering up the old Craigsstuff and eBuy websites to save on the hassle.  Now to give us an idea on what the weather would be like for such yard sales, lets go to Wilbert Woods at weather central sixty eight. How’s mother nature looking out there this week Wil?”

*The camera cuts over to Wilbert Woods at the Weather Central desk, the screen behind him showing scattered rain on the area*

Wilbert: "Well There's some good news, today we start off with some scattered showers here and there, not so good for a yard sale anyway, but all these storm clouds blow out by the late afternoon and evening and clear up giving us a high in the upper seventies, dropping down to sixty one overnight as the ocean winds blow in.  Tomorrow, sunny with scattered clouds, Low eighties as the temperature lingers in that nice area.  Winds picking up as the day progresses but nothing too harsh, a Good day to take out the sailboat if you have the chance. "

*he changes the screen to a day by day forecast display.  Instead of the usual backdrop of blue is a beach scene with Wilbert wearing a rather skimpy European style swimsuit with his Rear end just barely covered by "Saturday" on the display.  Might have been taken from his vacation photos*

Wilbert: "Thursday night the winds die down and we remain in the upper sixties for temperature, leading into bright sunny day on Friday, With the high maybe in the low Nineties, those winds overnight will blow in a couple of scattered storms that won't linger too long on Saturday morning and clear out for another Sunny day.  The temperature will cool a bit into the mid Eighties. Overnight Saturday the clouds roll back in, but no storms are expected.  Making Sunday a cloudy day with intermittent sunshine and high humidity keeping the temperature in the high eighties, but with other factors it'll feel like it's in the mid nineties by evening.  Then on Monday the rain rolls back in in the afternoon lingering from late afternoon and overnight.  Temperatures dropping back to the low Eighties and upper seventies during the day with nighttime dropping back to the sixties.  Tuesday expect more of the same, scattered storms, a couple may be thunderstorms, with the temperature lingering in the upper sixties, dropping down to fifty nine or so overnight as the wind and rain chill things down considerably."

*The background display shows Wilbert's face overlaid on the "singing in the rain" scene with bad photoshopping indicating it's done because he sounds so happy for rain*

Wilbert: "So a nice pleasant weekend and back to some stormy cooler weather the beginning of June.  But about normal for this time of year. "

*The camera cuts back over to Ariana and Raymond*

Ariana: "Looks like it's going to be a great weekend to get out of the house and take in some events and sunshine.  Thanks Wil."

*The camera centers on Raymond as he makes an adjustment in his seat to face front*

Raymond: "A undisclosed man was arrested yesterday after trying to shoplift a bottle of bourbon whiskey from the marketplace general store. The police arrived on the scene as the employee on site tried to stop the man from leaving the premises. Witnesses state that the man saw the officers arrive on scene and proceeded to open the bottle and try to guzzle the entire contents down before they could arrest him.  He was taken to the local hospital to be treated for potential alcohol poisoning.  His name has not yet been released by authorities. "

Ariana: "Lightweight.."  *She blinks realizing she said that out loud and Chuckles as she looks at the camera*  "Liquor thefts are not something another Bay area establishment has to worry about, we go now to Jeannie Webb on site at Big D's Sports bar and grill.  Jeannie?"

*The camera cuts to Jeannie Webb standing outside the familiar little hole in the wall style bar.  A modest exterior with just a sign out front that says "Big D's" and the entire facility seems to have been a converted shop that probably sold shoes or fishing tackle at one point*

Jeannie: "Hiii Everyone and Thanks Ari.  Big D's back here recently had some trouble when local residents complained about the sheer amount of nosie from the Bar, especially during open mic night and when they had live bands perform.  Big D's operates such with a special amusement permit issued by the town council which was coming up for renewal.  The council did approve the permit, but attached a rider to receive monthly reports from the police about noise complaints."

*The camera cuts to a man speaking into the mic as Jeannie interviewed him earlier*

Man: "Weekends isn't so bad, but they have open mic night on Tuesdays and sometimes live bands playing on Wednesdays.  Tenants and tourists who rent out the apartments I have next door complain about the noise all the time.  I had to rent out my normal apartment to keep the money coming in and move into the closest unit.  it gets real bad sometimes on open mic night especially.  I called the cops lots of times, but well nothing ever happens."

*The camera cuts back to Jeannie out front of the bar*

Jeannie: "Big D's owner claims he had no idea that those buildings were used for rentals and tourist apartments, the district is mostly one with other businesses.  He went on to explain that he's invested in new air conditioning and encourages his employees to keep the door and windows shut on weekday nights.  Claiming that at Ten O clock on weeknights the mic and sound system for live performances is turned off and claims that he has done all he can to try and minimize disturbances.  Councilors seem convinced he has been doing so which is why they renewed the permit.  But also added the rider and requested that local police do more proactive patrols in the area near the time for quieting down.  Only time will tell if this is considered enough.  Live from big D's, I'm Jeannie Webb."

*The camera cuts back to the news desk*

Raymond: "For those interested our own recent trip to open Mic night at the bar is available on the website, including our own Tammi Bean singing 'Girls just want to have fun' and Ariana doing a magnificent rendition of 'I will survive'."

Ariana: "Speaking of bartenders and waitresses, Kaylynn Garcia has been following a shift in the minimum wage referendums moving through the state. Kaylynn?"

*The camera cuts to Kaylynn Garcia sitting at the side desk (or kids table) for in house reporting when they aren't in the field.  She adjusts some of her papers and flashes a grin*

Kaylynn: "In the past year a great deal has gone towards adjusting the minimum wage for workers in the state.  the latest referendum concerns those who earn tips as part of their wages.  Last month a 'tip credit' was passed by committee and goes to the state senate for consideration.  Under current Maine law, restaurant servers and other tipped workers earning a minimum of five dollars per hour are scheduled to receive a one-dollar per hour raise every year until their current sub-minimum wage reaches the regular minimum wage. The downside to this is that it may cause people who own restaurants and other service industries to charge more and patrons to tip less, which means a whole difference in encouragement for good service provided."

*She adjusts her papers and several graphs show in the background showing wages and increases and comparing prices and all kinds of graphic data to back up both sides*

Kaylynn:  "The proposal is about instituting a Tip credit wherein an employer can consider tips earned by their workers as meeting part of the employers obligation to pay the standard minimum wage of nine dollars per hour.  The current language precludes such and demands the yearly raise till base pay meets minimum.  by instituting this credit it takes out the yearly demand and it's hopeful that in the long run without a demanded increase that the workers will still be making the goal of the standardized minimum wage.  Detractors also state, that this does cause some headaches for business owners who would have to calculate all reported tips and reconcile that with the hourly wage on a weekly basis to ensure they meet standards.  The bill still needs to pass through the senate and be signed into law by the Governor, but many are confident that it'll be instituted in twenty-eighteen."

*The camera cuts back to Ariana and Raymond in the news room.*

Ariana: “Thank you Kaylynn, it’ll be interesting to see just how far this proposal goes, and how it’ll affect the next bout of pitchers someone gets when they are out celebrating their birthday.”

Raymond: “Coming up after the break, more on the fight for who pays what percentage of the Bay area school budget from their taxes, Kyler, our intern, has a story on that bitter fight between townships.  Also, could it start costing more for locals to start parking downtown? Several proposals about parking enforcement are upcoming for the board of selectmen. The Eastern Maine skippers program will kick off the summer this weekend, find out where and what activities they have planned.  And finally, the New England Fishery Management Council is hosting public hearings on numerous proposals at its next meeting, find out what they are and how you can get involved.  All this and more after these commercials.”

*Cut to Commercials*

By Nichollas Courtois, AP Investigative Reporter

In the early morning hours of Monday the 22nd, a gruesome discovery was made on the porch of the esteemed AP citizen Judge Charles Winterbottom. Sources say a severed head of an unidentified woman was left at the judge's home and was found by his assistant, Suki Sakamoto, who called law enforcement.  It's been confirmed by a witness that one of the responding officers, Officer Kerri Oakleaf, recognized the remains but identification of the remains are still under investigation. The APPD was contacted but there has no statement made. 

Details on the case are limited but what has been learned is, decomposition of the decapitated head, revealed the victim has only been deceased between 24-72 hours.  Found on the head was a sharp object that had caused major damage to the tongue and throat.  It appears, due to the jagged marking on the neck that the object used was something like a knife, opposed to an axe or larger object.  

It's been confirmed that Judge Winterbottom had active security cameras on his porch but what was on those tapes is yet to be released.

Judge Winterbottom claims he knows of no one who would be seeking retaliation upon him, though he did admit, "...as a Judge, I am bound to have scorned somebody. It is quite possible, that somebody left it as a warning."  He also confirmed he has no recognition of the victim but reconfirmed in his own words, "...I am sure that there are people who dislike me."'

The judge also released an official statement warning, "...the perpetrator will not escape justice. They will be hunted down and put in prison, where they belong, for a first degree murder, trespassing and violating private property, amongst other things."  When pressed with for further information the judge gave the AP Times a stern warning, threating jail time for any who, "...infringes with an ongoing investigation."  While adding, "...It is quite admirable, not to reveal your sources, without a subpoena. And I do hope that I would not have to issue such a document [unless] the need arises."  Is he making a threat to our rights for a free press? Is the judge truly out for justice, or out to keep his record clean and sweep victims under the proverbial rug?  One can only wonder, but the AP Times will refuse to given to threats and continue to deliver to the public any and all information concerning their safety.  

More information will be given as it is revealed but for now it's reasonable to assume that there is a killer on the streets of the Asphyxiation Point.  Could this be linked to the reported missing body taken from the AP Medical Center only a few weeks before?  Maybe, but until the APPD decides to take reports seriously and reveal what serious threats loom over the AP community we're all at the mercy of the lawless and the violent who continue to evade the inept law enforcement.

​*The familiar static crackle of the channel switching over to AP local 68 once again solidifies into the familiar faces of Ariana Bening and Raymond Wages at the news desk. Both today for some reason wearing the exact same sports coat, though Ariana seems to be wearing a low cut blouse underneath while Raymond has his dark blue power tie.*

Raymond: “…at this time the initial appearance of the gentleman has sparked some debate as he has entered a plea of ‘Not guilty’ to all charges of possession of sexually explicit material of a minor. The man is being held without bail, local officers at the township say that is due to several threats made against his life by concerned citizens. The trial is scheduled to begin this July.”

Ariana: *Shakes her head and frowns* “And we will have more on the aspects of this case from our…legal consultant Mary-Ann Ratering later on in the hour. But for some other news concerning minors we go to Jeannie Webb at the Bay Area Public School District.  Jeannie?”

*The camera cuts to Jeannie Webb standing in the lobby of the District Administrative offices of the Bay Area Public Schools. Behind her somewhat camped out or standing in line or milling about are numerous adults. Some chatting, some just standing there checking the time.*

Jeannie: “thank you Ari, As you can see there’s a crowd already gathering for today’s School board session. Today is the first open session since the budget for the district was submitted for approval, which means that today and most of the sessions in the upcoming weeks will revolve around determining what percentage of this budget will be paid by individual townships in the district.”

*Jeannie turns and motions to the crowd, some of whom wave back, some ignore her and others make faces and ham it up a bit for the news, before overlaid on the screen is a map of the school district.*

Jeannie: *Voiceover* “The people here are representatives of various townships in the Bay Area who are looking to provide their input on just which townships should pay which percentage. As you know all the individual townships in the district send public students to the same schools rather than having individual schools for each, what the district now needs to decide is how much of the money requested in the budget submission will come from each district.” *As she speaks the various townships highlighted on the map show several lines and pie chart percentages which have been previous years data. The Camera then returns directly to Jeannie.*

Jeannie: “The main issue that usually comes up is percentages of the cost being funded from wealthier communities against those who have more children of school age. Not to mention transportation costs for both busing and ferry passes. Sometimes the debate meetings can last all day and well into the evening as various community representatives state their cases and counter-arguments as to why they should pay a different amount.  Considering just the High School is slated for a Two point Eight Eight Million budget for the upcoming year, it’s almost guaranteed to be a bit of a tooth and nail fight.  From the bay Area School District, I’m Jeannie Webb”

*The camera cuts back to Ariana and Raymond at the news desk*

Raymond: “Thank you Jeannie. Sounds like it’s going to get pretty heated over there. “

Ariana: “Parents and money usually ends up that way Raymond.” *She turns to face the side camera as it cues up on her* “Speaking of things getting heated, Wilbert Woods has what you can expect from Mother Nature this week. Wil?”

*The camera cuts to Wilbert Woods standing in front of the radar tracking screen. As he stands there a plastic (obviously) dinosaur wiggle-moves it's way onto the screen behind him and then looks like it's trying to beat him with it's open mouth.  Little word bubbles appear above it's head going "RAWR" And "OM NOM!" Till Wil starts moving and the Dino disappears.*

Wilbert: "Thank you Ari. Wel have a remarkably beautiful weekend ahead of us. Today, sunny clear skies with highs in the near eighties. Dropping down to the mid Sixties tonight.  Tomorrow, more of the same..." *As he says this the image behind him shows a "chibi" Anime version of Wilbert in a Speedo standing on a beach flashing the Peace sign.* "...Temperatures reaching low Eighties in the afternoon and dropping back to high sixties overnight.  Sunday night this storm front moves in and clouds thicken up, making Monday start out overcast with little sun, that keeps the temperature fairly steady in the low Seventies till the afternoon storms arrive and it drops to the upper sixties.  Overnight it'll drop into the low sixties as rainstorms continue."

*He indicates the front of rainstorms moving through on the projection map.  The front "grows" a pair of googly eyes and a word balloon stating: 'Don't touch me there!' As Wil motions to various parts of the front*

Wilbert: "Tuesday we have cloudiness with continued showers, this cold front pushing the rain into the area starts to move in and our temperatures drop into the low sixties to upper fifties for the morning and evening. Showers mostly drift on out as the cold weather hits, with a few lingering and scattered over the area going into Tuesday night.  Wednesday we continue with intermittent showers starting out the morning, becoming a steady rain storm later on in the afternoon.  The high only being about Sixty three as that cold wind keeps moving through the area.  Wednesday night and Thursday look about the same with intermittent rain storms lingering here and there and popping up all across the map as temperatures linger in the cold range."

*The weather map behind Wilbert shows a half-dozen cartoon images of generic people wearing bathing suits with icicles hanging off various body parts and teeth chattering*

Wilbert: "Friday is still overcast in the morning with light rain showers here and there, remaining cloudy but the ran letting up in the evening, the temperature sticking in the middle sixties as the cold front moves onward out of the area.  Saturday the clouds keep lingering heavily overhead, but this does push the temperature back up into the low seventies as they slowly decrease going into the evening, So Sunday the Twenty-eighth as this cold push is out of the area we are back to partly cloudy skies and Upper Seventies for the temperature. "

*The camera cuts back to Raymond and Ariana at the news desk*

Ariana: "Ugh, looks like a final push of cold air from our lovely Canadian neighbors."

Raymond: "Looks like we should have had them build that giant Space Heater huh?"

*They both laugh a bit remembering the story from a while ago about the giant Space heater to stop Canada from sending their cold fronts.*

Raymond: "Well tourist season is upon us, and once again local municipalities are looking for a way to cash in on the boom in transient travelers by way of taxes.  That's right once more a seasonal local tax option is being considered by numerous townships around the bay area and state itself.  Currently there is local tax on restaurants and lodging and other generally considered tourist fares, this option would adjust the tax rate for such during those peak activity months if enacted by the local municipality.  Some would begin in March and go till September, others would start in April and go till October, it all depends on the local ordinance and would cover such things as Hotel lodging, car rental, Boat rental, Eating in a restaurant, getting take out or Delivery of food and grocery services."

Ariana: "Currently the adjustment rate is legally not allowed to exceed two percent during the busy season and proponents say that with all the extra traffic and tourists flocking to the area it would be a real boost to offset the costs of upkeep and utility usage.  As you recall we already covered the water and sewer companies seeking a proposal for a seasonal hike in costs during the peak months earlier in the month.  Detractors state that this tax only benefits industries and areas with more specialized hotel and restaurant facilities and doesn't really assist communities with national parks and open beaches nearly as much which also see a high rise in wear and tear of facilities due to increased tourist traffic. Also hotels and restaurant owners state that such an adjustment causes problems for book keeping and changes in the way they handle their accounts to make certain that the proper amount is paid from the month under such a seasonal tax to a month not."

Raymond:  "Another group who is opposed to this are the so called 'Snow birds' or persons who spend the warmer months residing locally, and travel to southern climates during the winter.  Claiming that they are local residents, but that utility hikes and raised local taxes during their time here is unfair.  The proposal goes to the state next month, and if enacted could show up on the local ballots for enactment this summer and take effect as early as March twenty eighteen.  As usual if you have some insight or opinion to share on this there is a link on our website to Bay Area community speaks forums where you can provide your opinion and read what others are saying about important legislation.  Also restaurant and shop reviews, upcoming events and even a garage sale section where you can buy and sell items with other locals. "

Ariana: "On the subject of tourism, there's a new term being spread around.  Glamping. Now I know what you think, it sounds like some new kind of thing local youth are getting into you have to listen and intervene in."

Raymond:  "In fact when the erm came up at the News topic meeting our producers made it very clear that we were not sending Dean under-cover into the Red Light District again..."

*Both he and Ariana can't help but grin and chuckle a bit at that remembered debacle*

Ariana: "But a Internet search and some discussion later the issue was cleared up and Kaylynn Garcia has that story on just what Glamping is and how it's coming to Maine this summer.  Kaylynn?"

*The screen cuts to Kaylynn Garcia sitting on a large 4 poster bed in what looks like a fairly nice furnished cabin*

Kaylynn: "Summer is a time for camping, fires, marshmallows, sleeping bags and tents. Roughing it out in the middle of the woods or beach, or even trekking out to the middle of nowhere with your recreational vehicle, not so much with delivered fresh lobster and seven-hundred thread count Egyptian cotton sheets."

*She stands up and walks across the floor and pushes on the "wall" to open the flap on a...tent!?!? and steps out in front*

Kaylynn: "Glamping, or 'glamorous camping' is coming to Maine this summer.  Sandy pines, Willow Brook and Bear-trails campgrounds will be furnishing between fifteen and a hundred of these glam tents on their facilities this summer for nightly or weekend rentals.  All are professionally decorated, and feature amenities such as room service, electricity, some will even have local cable channels on high def televisions and improved wifi access."

*She walks down along the rows of large spacious tents spread around, several with various designs indicating a difference*

Kaylynn: "All the tents have themes, Arabian nights, Nomads, Nautical journey and so on.  Also included are mini fridges, fans, some even have rear decks with grills and five or seven of them in a pod will share a communal bathouse with hot water and internal plumbing facilities, including a steam room.  The tents themselves have been equated to being in a luxury hotel room, only inside a tent.  As a bonus for June renters at the start of the season fresh Lobster can be delivered either cooked or live for your own cooking as part of the menu.  The owners of the campground say that this program may continue if there's enough interest in having it on the menu."

*She reaches a central area with a large firepit and numerous benches stools and tables all around arranged like a old theater area*

Kaylynn: "The rentals start at around one fifty a night on up to two ten depending on the date and availability, they suggest you check out the camping site website for booking arrangements.  and for those who still want to do things the old fashoned way, there are still hundreds of primitive and RV sites still at the individual campgrounds.  Though for some the expanded wifi is well worth the additional luxury.  This has been Kaylynn Garcia for Glamping."

*The camera cuts back to Raymond and Ariana in the news room*

Raymond: "Hrm, interesting.  From what I understand the Glamping trend started in Europe and has recently made it's way over to the US in the past year or so.  Also we'd like to remind our viewers that although Glamping may sound amazing, these are still primitive campsites and thus don't have safety or other standards set by building inspectors or the like the same way you would at a actual hotel facility.  You are effectively renting someone else's tent and sleeping in it, so keep that in mind before you book."

Ariana: "Good thing you bring that up ray, as another facility is having health and safety problems of it's own going into the busy season.  For that story we go to Dean Knopinski at Seal Cove Rustic Cabins.  Dean?"

*The camera cuts to Dean standing amid what looks like several dozen log cabins that have been demolished, though on closer inspection it's obvious they are still in the construction phase. and haven't finished being assembled*

Dean:  "Thank you Ari, the owners of Seal cove Rustic Cabins who were looking to expand their facilities this spring by erecting nearly fifty new single cabins and thirty doubles have run into a bit of a hiccup as the permits they had for the old buildings didn't cover the new, and the land they purchased to expand on was in violation of local zoning ordinance for such facilities. Enforcement officers arrived today to issue a cease and desist order for the construction crews.  This spells some bad news as it may close the entire facility for most of the summer and the owners are already ~BLEEEP!!~"

*He exclaims as one of the state police officers comes rushing by on a four-wheeler.  causing Dean to step off the dirt path, and trip over something.  Stumbling a couple of feet to fall head-first into a large concrete foundation still being poured.  landing in the liquid concrete and splashing around like some kind of swamp thing rising up from the murky depths flailing about covered head to toe in the gray fake stone as the camera cuts back to the news desk.*

Raymond: “I’m sure he’s okay.” *He adjusts some papers and turns back to the main camera* “After the break, bridges and ramps for the main byways, which are being delayed on repair and construction and how will this affect your commute? Communities all around the bay area have allocated funds and accepted bids for landscaping, what this means for your taxes and neighborhood. A table saw was reported stolen Friday, where police say it ended up and why.”

Ariana: “All those stories and more after these commercials.”

~Cut to Commercials~

​By Chloe Voss

​Peace in the lower downtown area shattered with the crack of gunfire on Wednesday afternoon. The altercation occurred in the small park just East of Anderson’s and involved an individual with an apparent grudge against the Asphyxiation Point Police Department (APPD). 

This reporter arrived on scene just as foot pursuit began between officers and the suspect. Any need to follow on my own part was cut off when the chase came full circle and ended with a standoff, once again in front of Anderson's. The suspect was using a response vehicle of the APPD as an apparent barricade in an attempt to avoid apprehension. 

Several innocents were caught in the altercation including Xelan Morgath who despite not being APPD ended up in the line of fire, defending herself and her friends with her own weapon. Miss Morgath was arrested in the fall out of the investigation for using a weapon in self-defense, likely a precautionary action by APPD officers as they worked to clear the scene. 

The suspect, whose name is being withheld by authorities, faces criminal charges. Not only did she fire a weapon at APPD but was loudly decrying the department with rhetoric reminiscent of a revolutionary call to arms. Either that or she was high on illegal substances and emulating the punk rock scene of the 1960’s. 

Arresting Officer Ming Yheng, recently promoted to Captain in the APPD was forced to taze the suspect to bring her under control. Asked for comment in regard to the incident the police spokesperson would only confirm that the suspect was in custody, there were thankfully no lasting injuries, and the investigation was ongoing.